A cuckolding and strong woman to share her adventures and advice. I like to share :).

Posts tagged ‘Fantasy’

The cuckold experience


The Cuckold Experience 

(click title for original source)

Anyone who’s ever been in one of these relationships will tell you that they’re emotionally complex, physical stimulating, extremely passionate, and intensely erotic. Men and women who’ve been in these types of relationships often become captivated by their unique intensity. Multiple studies demonstrate that the emotional impact of these relationships on their participants is so profound that it can permanently alter brain chemistry levels in both men and women. They become addicted to the thrilling surges of adrenalin (power) and dopamine (pleasure) associated with these activities.

For men, the phrase “once a cuckold, always a cuckold” speaks to this powerful desire and effect. Despite the conflicting emotional turmoil experienced by men in these relationships… often referred to as “cuckold angst”, described as the most intensely erotic roller coaster ride a man will ever experience… men find it highly addictive, and often find themselves wanting to experience it again and again in subsequent relationships with different women. So much so that they will actively seek out women who will cuckold them.

It’s said the most natural cuckolds in the world are men who experienced the emotional trauma of being made a cuckold during their sexually formative years, typically between 16 and 20. A man with a beautiful flirty girlfriend who cheats on him with other men, and then takes her back despite her infidelity… often begging and pleading with her to come back to him… is a man destined to be a cuckold all his life. With that experience, the die is cast. Thereafter, this pattern (she cheats, he forgives and takes her back) will tend to repeat itself.

For women, the experience is different but can be just as addictive, which is why men who think they want their wife to cuckold them need to be very careful about what they wish for. They might just get it. Once a woman has experienced the sexual variety and freedom of having sex with other men in the context of marriage, they will never give it up. The popular phrase “once a woman goes black, she never goes back” is a truism if there ever was one. But it’s a concept that applies not just to white women having sex with black men, but to married women having sex with other men besides their husbands. These types of experiences will forever alter her perceptions, and change the way she looks at things.

The reality that every would-be cuckold needs to face is that once a woman experiences the raw masculine power of a nine inch bull cock working between her legs, and feels what it’s like to cum five or six times in one night, she will never again be satisfied with a four inch penis that discharges in two minutes and then goes soft for the night. It changes the entire dynamic. A cuckold will quickly find out that the loving patience his wife previously showed with his erection and premature ejaculation issues will abruptly come to an end once she knows she has options.

Similarly, men and women who’ve been in serious power exchange relationships, either as the dominant or submissive partner, find them to be highly addictive and often discover that the experience has profoundly altered their perceptions, sexual interests, and desires.

If, for example, during or shortly after some intense power exchange activity, a person consistently has an orgasm, their mind will thereafter begin to associate that particular activity with having an orgasm, and they will find themselves wanting to experience it again and again. Given enough time and experiences, especially when their orgasms are otherwise controlled and restricted, this will apply to virtually any activity. This, of course, forms the basis for and explains the powerful addictive fascination some people have to BDSM relationships and the whole dominant/submissive dynamic. It applies to both to the dominant and submissive partner, and to both men and women.

These types of relationships begin and subsequently develop in all different kinds of ways, each with their own twists, turns, spins, and sexual flavors, reflecting the various interests, motivations, needs, desires, fetishes, passions, characters, and personalities of the individuals involved.

Sometimes it’s the wife’s idea, sometimes it’s the husband’s. Other times it’s spontaneous, unplanned, and just happens. Some women, whose husbands suggest experimenting with the lifestyle, find the concept repulsive and immoral. Other women immediately embrace the idea and take to it like a duck to water. Still other women slowly warm to the notion, dip their toe in the pool cautiously, and then, after a few amazing orgasmic experiences, wish they had thought of it sooner.

Some wives secretly have sex with other men, without their husbands knowing, and actively try to hide it, while other wives do so openly. Some women feel nervous, apprehensive, and guilty about it afterwards, others are confident, poised, and self-assured. Many women experience mixed emotions… a little guilt, mixed with genuine concern about their husband’s feelings, tempered by powerful memories of how incredible the sex was… which is roughly analogous to the “cuckold angst” that men feel (i.e., the next day they feel guilty, then a week later they want to do it again).

Some husbands know about their wife’s sexual activities, and some don’t. Some men harbor suspicions about a cheating wife, while others are clueless. Some men, if and when they do find out about their wife’s affairs, angrily confront her, while men are more introspective and quietly keep it to themselves, afraid to rock the boat. It’s not uncommon for secret cuckolds to become increasingly obsessive about their wife’s activities, and begin monitoring her cell phone, computer, checking her car, following her, etc.

Some husbands find the idea of their wife fucking other men to be intensely erotic, while others are repulsed by it. Some men are excited and exhilarated by the idea of having to share their wife’s pussy with other men, while others are deeply hurt and humiliated by the experience. Some men get an instant rock-hard erection just thinking about their wife coming home with a wet creamy used pussy, while other men are nauseated by it.

Some men despise their wives for it, while others love her even more. Some men beg their wives to stop, while others actively encourage her to continue. Some husbands like to watch. Some women don’t want their husbands to be present.

Many bulls don’t mind the husband being in the room when they fuck his wife, while others don’t want him to be anywhere around. Some women love to dress up special for their bulls, in ways they never dress up for their husbands, while other women are more discreet about it. Some women enjoy the ritual of always go to their bulls, while other women prefer to entertain their lovers at home. Still other women love the naughty idea of meeting up with their bull in a cheap roadside motel for a long hot afternoon of fucking. Some women enjoy spending the night with their bulls, while other women and couples have rules against it.

Some men want their wives to be able to experience sexual delights and pleasures that they can’t possibly give her, while other men feel humiliated by the fact that they can’t compete against the stronger, more virile men their wife’s typically choose as lovers.

Some women are sexually submissive, some are more dominant. Some men are sexually dominant, some are more submissive. And some are in between. Still others, after experimentation and experience, discover sides to them that they never knew about, and want to explore deeper.

Men and women in these types of relationships live in all different parts of the world, come from various demographic groups, different ages, income levels, educations, cultural backgrounds, and races.

For women, the criteria for picking sexual partners can be vastly different than the standards they might apply in selecting a life partner or husband. In fact, it’s quite common for women to be sexually curious about and physically attracted to men who are radically different than their husbands in terms of physical appearance, background, community and economic status, and personality. It is, after all, about having fun, experimenting, trying something new, exploring, and fulfilling sexual fantasies.

As far as sex partners go, most women are attracted to strong, powerful, dominant, masculine, mentally and physically aggressive men with unbounded physical stamina. They also tend to prefer muscular athletic men with big cocks. This, in large part, explains the powerful sexual attraction that many white women have for black men. The conventional cliché that we all hear about, and that we see all over the internet, is white women in their 30s and 40s that like to have hot nasty sex with young well-hung black men. It’s a stereotype, to be sure, but one that’s also very, very common.


The rise of the cuckolding culture

Come join the fun now!!!  Be a Cuckoldress before being a cuckoldress was cool 😉

An article orginally published by Kai Ma on Nerve.com.

Two years ago, Christina, a thirty-one-year-old married administrative assistant, was about to have sex with Claudio, a man who wasn’t her husband. She pulled out a ruler from underneath her bed so she could measure his penis. “Ten inches with a seven-inch girth,” she said to Claudio. Then she turned to her husband, who was standing next to her and Claudio, videotaping, and emphasized to him, “He’s huge.”

It all began in 1997, when Christina met her husband Kurt online. After they married, they spilled their guts to each other while high on ecstasy: they both had sexual fantasies about sleeping with other people. At that point, “we knew we couldn’t eat the same meal everyday,” says Kurt. They agreed to have an open marriage, and Christina began having sex with a coworker. When she told Kurt about it, he felt “outwardly jealous, inwardly curious,” he says. “A part of me wished that I could’ve seen it.” Kurt also worried for his wife’s safety when she slept with male strangers. “At first, it was about making sure she wasn’t in danger. Now, it’s about me being there, seeing it and getting off.”

Kurt is a cuckolder — or “cuck” — a man who

derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife or girlfriend have sex with other men. He assumes a disempowered, beta-male role as part of the fantasy. His wife, or any woman who cuckolds her male partner, is called a hotwife. When I ask Christina how she feels about the arguably degrading epithets, she shrugs and throws her hands up. “I’m a slut,” she says. Kurt cracks a smile.

Christina and Kurt (not their real names) post ads online seeking extramarital male partners for her. These men are called “bulls” or “studs.” After spending hours searching Craigslist for bulls, I found Claudio (not his real name), Christina and Kurt’s current bull. He responded to my request for an interview, and then put me in touch with them.

On my way to their Manhattan apartment, I am walking a path that countless bulls have walked before. Kurt, a forty-one-year-old former Army man is still cut like a soldier — lean and muscular, with a shaved head, and pecs bulging underneath a baby-blue basketball jersey. He looks like the antithesis of a beta male, though anyone would peg Christina as a hotwife. Her curly, black hair is pulled back by a headband, and her eyes reflect the intensity of her persona; everything, from her short, snappy statements to how she takes a drag from her smoke, is executed with an unapologetic frankness.

It is the same matter-of-fact tone that she uses to describe Claudio’s generous package: “[Claudio] is hitting spots in me that Kurt isn’t.” Kurt nods in somber agreement, adding, “He fills her up. I love watching her react to his bigger dick because I can’t provide her that. I get off on the truth, on what’s real.” The couple’s ads specify that their bulls have to boast a penis of eight inches plus, given that Kurt’s is seven. The bull needs to exemplify masculinity in ways that Kurt cannot. He needs to be not only better endowed, but also alpha enough to make Kurt feel small, both physically and psychologically.

The idea of any husband wanting to watch his wife have sex with another man goes against the grain of marriage, masculinity, even patriarchy, in a radical way. Before meeting Kurt, I’d never known a man who liked the idea of another man messing around with his wife. But Kurt, who enjoys submitting to the bull’s larger penis and his wife’s high sex drive, says his sexual passivity is more a role than the reality. He can personify the beta male role, even eroticize it, because he knows he’s not inherently inferior to other men.

As an alpha male in life, Kurt’s bedside compliance also serves as a refuge from his competitive, high-strung personality. “This is the one area in life where I can choose to be submissive,” he explains. “I always have to win and be the best at everything. No one can do better than I can. If another guy eats her out better than I do, well, he’s just raised the bar, but I can do better. But a bigger dick I can’t complete with. Something about that turns me on.”

Kurt watches his wife have sex with bulls through a video camera, sometimes inches away from the action. He makes it a point to videotape the bull’s penis, then turns the camera on his own smaller one to emphasize the size disparity. Afterwards, the couple will watch the tape with the bull, and then again together after the bull leaves. They’ve accumulated an extensive library of homemade porn. “I can’t stand fading memories,” says Kurt.

“I’m not threatened by these guys,” he says. “Though I do envy them — I give em props, those lucky bastards. Nothing turns me on more than seeing her react to someone else’s bigger dick.” Motioning toward his wife, he adds, “It’s unrealistic to think that I can be the best at everything. There’s always going to be something another guy can give her that I can’t.”

For those unfamiliar with cuckolding as sexual fetish, try to recall high-school English, and more specifically, Geoffrey Chaucer’s reference to cuckolds in The Canterbury Tales. The traditional Middle English meaning of the word — a man with an adulterous wife — echoes the modern-day fetish: “One cannot be a cuckold if not wed. But I do not therefore asperse your bed; few are the wives who make their husbands sad, a thousand good for every one that’s bad.”

The glaring difference? Dozens of cuckold websites affirm that today’s cucks aren’t just standing helplessly by. They’re begging well-endowed men to have sex with their insatiable wives.

The cuckold community remains largely online, though in San Francisco, the private club Cuckold Dreams hosts parties for its members. On Haway.org, run by Seattle-based cuckolder Rusty Haway, members can browse ads, post forums and share stories, video and photos. CuckoldPlace.com (a more advanced site where “52,417 registered users can’t be wrong!”), has different categories for members to explore: interracial, intergenerational, basic, ultimate. Here, ads are posted by couples and bulls from all over the world, and range from detailed accounts (accompanied with dick pics and email addresses) to traditional social networking (“Any bulls in Indianapolis?”) Advice is solicited and shared: “Should Wife spend Her vacation along with Her lover(s)?” And, “Should the cuck be chastised?” On the utilitarian Craigslist, dozens of cuckolding-related ads can be found on any given day, though the majority are bulls looking for hotwives.

Other sites feature images ranging from semen dripping over wedding bands to ethereal caucasian goddesses standing next to black men in mirrored shades. The race thing is one of cuckolding’s more uncomfortable aspects. On most cuckolding sites, such as blacksonwives.com and myslutwife.com, there is an overwhelming preoccupation with “Mandingos,” or well-endowed black men. Similar racial parameters exist in the swinging community, as highlighted in Details magazine’s March article on “Mandingo parties” — interracial orgies arranged for single black men to have sex with white wives in front of their white husbands. The popularity of the orgies is buttressed by a two-prong fantasy: the white couple’s fetish for a “BBC” (big, black cock), and the Mandingo’s fetish for having sex with rich, white wives. All participants get something out of it, and a Mandingo even argues that interracial orgies are a by-product of multiculturalism and tolerance. But bigotry — and a dose of white guilt — lie at the heart of any racialized fetish: black men, despite their “superior” sexual prowess, are debased and eroticized, and believed to pose less of a threat because the wives would supposedly never date them.

The cucks I interviewed denied having a preference for Mandingos, but would eventually admit some sort of racialized, if not racist, baggage. Bob, a forty-seven-year-old caucasian male, says he found a relationship through an online ad posted by a woman pursuing black bulls. “I emailed her because I was hoping to fall in love with a sexual white woman who does black guys,” he says. “We hooked up and it was really wild.”

“In American cuckold culture,” he adds, “it’s the white couple that has black bulls. There’s a notion that black men are better-endowed, and the whole idea of white men getting off on feeling sexually inferior to black men.”

A Black-Puerto Rican bull I interviewed does not answer white couples’ ads because “they tend to be more rigid in terms of what they look for in a bull,” he says. “If you’re a black bull, you’d better fit the mold of what the stereotypical black guy is. To them, he’s a cornrow-wearing thug or basketball player. They’re more into the fantasy — the big, black Mandingo.”

“Most black men are not offended by the stereotype that they’re well-hung,” he continues. “But what gets on my nerves is when the ad says, ‘We want a gold-toothed, baggy-pants type,’ or, ‘We want you to look like Allen Iverson or Usher.’ You know what? The typical bull on Craigslist is not going to look like Usher, so get over your stereotype and deal with it.”

The identity politics don’t stop there. While watching another man have sex with his female partner, a cuck also negotiates a homoerotic encounter in a way that feels less threatening to his heterosexual identity. A cuck with latent bisexual or gay tendencies may be unwilling to have sex with a man, but can concede to watching his woman in the act and vicariously experience it through her. If he decides to perform oral sex on a bull, it’s spun as an act meant to please his female partner. The presence of a conduit — the wife or girlfriend — helps to contain his desires within a safer scope of bi-curious sexuality. Bob, for example, would consider being forced into oral sex with a bull, “but I would never go out to a gay club and blow guys. For men, it’s taboo to have bisexual relationships. Cuckolding allows us to express these desires without having to actually have sex with a man.”

In his erotic nineteenth-century novel Venus in Furs, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch writes of a character who tells his lover, “Suffering has a peculiar attraction for me. Nothing can intensify my passion more than tyranny, cruelty and especially the faithlessness of a beautiful woman.” These predilections were later detailed in The Confessions of Wanda von Sacher-Masoch, written by his wife, also known as Aurora Rümelin. According to the memoir, von Sacher-Masoch forced her to take on additional lovers so that he could experience the pain and humiliation of “infidelity,” and was so obsessed with being cuckolded that he personally set up liaisons with other men for his wife, and threatened her if she didn’t cooperate.

And this is how cuckolding, or any fetish, complicates the notion of who is actually in control. For a fantasy that requires the roles of submissive males and dominant females, is the “forceful and lust-driven wife” really the controlling party when coerced into making her husband’s wet dream a reality?

Bob believes cuckolding relationships should be based on mutual consent, and would never twist a woman’s arm into cuckoldry. But similar to von Sacher-Masoch, he often has to coax his girlfriends into participating in his fetish. If they refuse, the relationship ends. If they agree, Bob becomes both the submissive cuck and the voice of authority. “I’ve trained girlfriends to be more dominant, and how to properly tease and humiliate me,” he says. “Women are usually not born as cuckoldresses.”

When Bob was thirty-three, he found a girlfriend who voluntarily had sex with several other men, but expected him to remain monogamous. When Bob revealed his fetish, she agreed to cuckold him, and he stopped having sex with her altogether. “If I kept her satisfied sexually, she wouldn’t have a reason to go out and sleep with other guys,” Bob explains over the phone. “I had to convince her to concentrate on extramartial affairs as her only avenue for sex to ensure that she would keep searching for and finding men.”

Unlike Kurt and Christina, Bob and his girlfriend would dupe their unwitting bull; Bob would hide in the closet or under the bed while his girlfriend had sex above him. Bob helped her groom and prepare for dates. Several days before her date with the bull, Bob would take her shopping for the plunging neckline of her choice. At the mall, they played out their sexual roles: he acted meek and pathetic, protesting that the new clotheswere too provocative, and she would order him to buy them for her anyway. The day before the date, she would make him pay for her manicure and pedicure, or order him to shave her legs in the shower. “Helping her get ready for her date was a huge mind-fuck that I enjoyed immensely,” he says.

But the biggest mind-fuck of all was clean-up duty — Bob liked to perform oral sex on his girlfriend immediately after she had sex with another man. “What makes it erotic is that my woman is really enjoying herself” with the bull, he says. “Then she comes back to me, and humiliates me by saying, ‘Now it’s your turn to have me. You can taste what the other guy left behind.'”

Bob could spend days kicking around theories explaining his behavior. (Low self-esteem? Oedipus complex?) But rather than putting a psychological stamp on his behavior, he’s content with the explanation that he’s submissive in the sack. “I’m not a docile person and I don’t let anyone push me around,” he says. “I’m not intimidated by younger, virile men with larger penises. But my fetish sexualizes it in a way that I feel inferior to them and enjoy those thoughts for the moment. You grow up in a society that always tells you, ‘No one is better than you. Don’t let anybody push you around. Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not good enough.’ That’s all good in the real world, but why don’t we tweak it in the sexual world?”

On a recent Saturday afternoon, it is Kurt and Christina’s eight-year wedding anniversary. I ask them what their plans are for the night. “[Claudio] might come over,” Christina tells me. “We might drop some E. If you want to join us, the invitation is always open.”

Instead, I meet Claudio alone at a coffee shop in Manhattan. He’s lanky, and flecks of salt-and-pepper hair are tucked under a black cap. He has intelligent eyes and slightly elfin ears. Claudio, thirty-five, met Kurt and Christina, his first cuckolding couple, in 2005. He answered their ad for a bull because it was hard for him to find single women online to have sex with. He noticed a pattern in straight women seeking sex online — the majority of attractive and sane females were always one-half of a couple. “I saw a lot of ads seeking bulls. So I thought, why don’t I try this cuckolding thing?”

The first time Claudio walked from the train station to the couple’s apartment, his heart was racing. He played out different scenarios in his head: if he got too nervous, he thought, he would back out altogether. As he walked into the doorman building with marble floors, he had “the complete jitters.” Christina was waiting for him in the lobby.

They greeted each other. Within five seconds of seeing him, she said, “So, did you bring your dick?”

“Uh, yeah,” Claudio stammered. “I did.”

“Good. Just checking.”

Once they went inside, Claudio met Kurt, and while the men talked in the bedroom, Claudio got his first real look at Christina’s taut figure. A few minutes later, Christina was measuring his penis, and making sure Kurt was getting it on videotape. “I like the attention I get from being a bull,” Claudio admits. “I’m the one that keeps the action moving. If I can’t perform, nothing happens. I like being in that role.”

He feels that bull-dom has made him a new person. “It’s not every man that can just take off his clothes in front of another man and not feel threatened or uncomfortable,” he says. “Being a bull is my way of being someone I’m not in regular life. It’s helped me break out of my shell because I have more confidence now. I found myself through cuckolding.”

Even as he plays the alpha-male role during sex with Christina, Claudio doesn’t feel like he’s better than Kurt. If anything, he envies him. “He has this great-looking wife, and has all this great sex without any of the worries or troubles that I have to go through as a single male,” Claudio says. “I’m still struggling to attain what he has. To me, he has it made.”

Kurt and Christina couldn’t agree more. A bull simply plays a marginal role in their sex life, and only reinforces the sex they have with each other. “Sexually, I know I’m the one,” Kurt says. “No one is better for each other than we are. The things we get from additional partners are just different body parts, smells, actions, styles. In the end, I’m the one tearing her up.”

Hotwife Tips

Since the Fuck Buddy tips went so well, how about some hotwife tips.  Add you own:

Sometime talk is not so cheap, especially when trying to convince your man to open up to a cuckold or hotwife relationship.

While most advice columns caution couples from talking about ex-lovers, for the exceptional woman it is almost mandatory to talk. Women have a particular advantage in all this, since men are obsessed with penis size. It could even be said that Freud’s penis envy afflicts men– not women. Regardless how you really feel about cock size, it is always best to exaggerate your interest. Always keep your husband on his heels. And there are two ways to do this.

The first way: 

Make sure he knows he is not the largest you have been with. Keep things vague, but larger than life. Let him use his imagination. Be coy. If your husband asks about the largest cock you have been with, act like you don’t want to discuss it at first. Tell him that size doesn’t really matter. If he pushes the issue, tell him about a past lover who was huge. If he presses for details, explain he was a few inches larger than the husband, and that sometimes sex was painful.

Over the course of time, you can explain how you have always really liked big cocks. Remind your husband that his is fine for a daily driver, but that sometimes you need a little more. As time progresses, describe another former lover– and how he also had a very large cock. Describe how much you enjoy feeling filled up. You can even explain how while you don’t miss your exlover, you sometimes miss his cock, and that you fantasize about him.

The Second Way:

Exactly the opposite of the first way.  Make your husband know that he is the biggest you have had, but that he is too big.  Tell him how much you love sex and want more of it, but he is so big that it hurts.  Tell him this as you stroke him or suck him.  Tell him how much you love the feel of his BIG (really over emphasize it) cock in your hands and  mouth.  Tell him how wet you get just from thinking about it.  From here, you can talk about having something to help warm you up, maybe even another cock that could help stretch you out first before hubby got to penetrate you.  Since you are keeping him stimulated he will probably try to push the scenerio and ask just what size of cock you need.

You can then tell him about previous lovers who where smaller, but skillful.  Tell him how their cocks could touch just the right spots.  After they get you warmed up, maybe you can take more of your husband’s BIG dick (again add the emphasis).  After that, maybe you can work in another step up in dick size by telling him if that works then maybe you could find a bigger dick.
Pick a type— black, latino, older, muscular… you decide. When you see someone who is your type on TV, make comments how hot he is. If you like blacks, every time you watch a program with your husband, comment how sexy your favorite black star is. Tell your husband how you would not hesitate to fuck him and that you would let him have his way with you. Tease your man by asking him if he thinks the celeb is hot. If he says yes, ask if he wants to be fucked by him. If he says no, tell him he is lying.

You can also do this for movies.  When you see a movie that has an actor you find attractive, make that movie the focus of a date night.  You could even tell him how much you would enjoy watching this actor in that movie, and you would enjoy it enough that you could give hubby something special after the show.  You can still tease him, asking him if he thinks the actor is hot.

Coworkers and friends

Tell you husband about a man you know who is hot. Everytime his name comes up, remind your husband how hot he is. Build it up into a crush. Describe the attention you receive from the man, what you were wearing at the time, and so on. Sound obsessive about your interest in him. If the other man is single, be particularly flirtatious, and describe your flirtations in great detail to your husband. Describe how you want to be alone with him and how you wouldn’t hesitate to fuck him if the circumstances allowed.

You can do this with strangers too.  Just pick out some random strangers while you are out and snap some pictures with your cell phone.  You can send them to your hubby with a sexy note.  Or you can save them for later and tell him in your most excited tone about someone you saw today.  Tell him how you normally don’t react this way, but something about this guy just got you going and you couldn’t stop thinking about him and just taking him to some motel for a quickie.

Fantasy talk
In bed, ask your husband what he fantasizes about. It is guaranteed to prompt him to ask you the same question. Go into excruciating detail. For example, if you are into interracial fantasies, tell him how you fantasize about being with two or three black men, who completely have their way with you. Or tell him a fantasy involving someone he already knows, and portray a very realistic fantasy. For example, you are not feeling well, so you stay home from work. A coworker stops by to have you sign some papers. You answer the door in your night clothes. As you invite him in, you find him staring at you, and things develop from there.

Hotwife talk
Tell your husband you fantasize about dating other men– just for the sex and the thrill.  The thrill of that first date and all the nervousness that comes with it, while you know that your big, strong, security net is waiting at home if something goes wrong.   Ask how he feels about it. Tell him you would tell him everything that happened, but that you want to meet one on one with another man. If he doesn’t go for that, explain how he could watch, but not participate. Ask him frequently if he would be comfortable watching a cock sliding in and out of you.

Night Out With the Girls
This is particularly effective if you have single friends. Take a night out with your girlfriends, at least once monthly. Have a few drinks and use the alcohol as an excuse for your flirtations, if you need an excuse. Return home with tales of other men flirting with you, buying drinks, more cell phone pictures, etc. Exaggerate if you must— or better yet, return with a phone number…. or another man.

Just enjoy it and don’t give up!!!

You shouldn’t live in the shadow of your own desires forever. You have to take that chance and make your life reflect who you really are.

You’re ready, but he’s not…

He opened this world of opportunity to you, but now he is getting reluctant.  He got your juices flowing with thoughts of all the possibilites this lifestyle could bring, but now he is getting cold feet and trying to close that door to you.

What’s girl to do????  Things were confusing enough before, but now that you are ready to give him everything he ever wanted, you are at a loss.  Chances are, if he mentioned this idea of you sleeping with other men more than a few times, or included it in your bedroom fun, then he still wants it and just can’t make himself admit it.  He wants you to take charge and make it happen, he wants you to just do it.  He wants you to cuckold him.

Here are a few things to do to keep the idea alive and some good ways to find out just how badly he still wants it:

  1. Keep the idea out in the open.  Let him know how much the idea of having sex with other men turn you on.  Let him know how much you think about it, even telling him how much you find yourself daydreaming about it.  You can do this during your intimate times together, in a teasing email or text message while he is at work, or in the morning share some erotic dream you had of you with another lover and how worked up you were went you woke up.
  2. Work it into your foreplay with dirty talk.  See how he responds, physically, mentally, and emotionally.  If he gets an erection (and most men will) then he is turned on hearing you talk and describe the fantasy.  If he doesn’t tell you to stop then he has allowed his mind to grasp the fantasy and run the images through his mind.  Mentally he has accepted that you have taken another lover and is allowing those images in his mind, using them to enhance his stimulation.
  3. Take note of his erection.  Comment on how hard he is and how long it has been since you’ve seen him that hard.  Ask what it is that is making him so hard.  Of course, you already know, but you might be able to convince him too.  If he cums when you are talking about the fantasy or role playing the fantasy, comment on how much or how hard he cums.  Again, say something about how you wish you knew what it was that made him cum so much.  Of course, you already know 😉 .
  4. If you do find yourself daydreaming about it to the point of masterbation or find your imagination going to other lovers during masterbation, tell him.  The more he sees just how excited you are about the thoughts the more it will bring out the submissive cuck in him who wishes to see nothing but your pleasure and happiness.
  5. When you do share your excitement about the thoughts of taking on another man, do it with excitement in your voice.  Don’t act angry, agressive, or seem hurt.  That will only motivate him to protect you or your relationship by eliminating what it is causing your angry or hurt mood.
  6. Increase your sex drive.  This may be easier said than done, but find something that works for you.  It could be something physical, like exercise or diet, or it could be something mental, like porn (yes ladies, don’t be afraid of a little porn) or even bloggin about it 😉
  7. Take the lead and plan date nights.  Even if your man already plans some, make some plans of your own.  It can start out with a simple date to a movie or trip to the coffee shop.  You can easily work in some fantasy talk by talking about some hot young actor in the movie or picking out a few guys in the coffee shop to make the objects of your imagination.  Mentally, you can also bring those guys back to your bedroom for the night too.

Hmmm, that seems like a good start.  If you have your own ideas, send them to me or post a comment!

Good Luck!!!!


Where’s the fun?

A great place to meet others to include in your sexual playtime is in the Swinger Community.  Why you ask??

It is all really simple. Swingers just have more fun! Yes many have wild kinky sex with other people. But most come out to enjoy the ADULT fun that is lacking in the every day world.   These are not some strange wierdos that you would avoid.  The are your neighbors, co-workers, other PTA parents, other playgroup parents, Democrats, Republicans…they are regular everyday people who want to have some fun.  You can be yourself and dress how you like, even say what you please, while being sexy all at once.

 You can talk about your hidden desire to run along the beach naked to people who understand. You can flaunt your hidden tattoo that the folks at the office don’t have a clue about.  You can engage in that ultimate fantasy with others who will cheer you along and not hold you back.  Swingers are all about being who they really are in the comfortably of others who think like them.  No judgement of what you like, what turns you on, what clothes you wear, what car you drive, or how much money you make.

 Does sex with strangers happen at a swingers party? Yes! But do you have to have sex with a stranger? NO! Truth be told most folks who go to a swingers party do not have sex with others or get naked or even flash a boobie. They go to enjoy the freedom and the atmosphere that Swingers offer. But I can tell you who does have wild sex like a frat house, couples after they return from a swingers party! They get caught up in the energy, excitement, and fun of others.  It is contagious and causes them to rediscover talking and the importance of attraction all over again.  They begin to see their partner as a sexual being again and not just the father or mother of their children.

You can read wildly written stories about Swingers and even find some so called Swingers Videos.

 But truth be told, you will really never learn anything about Swingers, the Lifestyle or what it’s all about till you attend a Swingers Event.  It will not come to you on this screen, it will not knock on your door, it is not for sale at WalMart. You have to experience a true, real life Swingers Event to see if it is for you.


Thanks to JPJustParties for the inspiration.

The home movie away from home.

 Ok, so here is one of our fantasies, ok so it is more my fantasy, as told from my husband’s view.

The Business Trip

Business travels have always been one of those love-hate adventures for me.  I enjoy the travel, seeing new places, and experiencing some of the variety of this country.  But I hate being away from my family and I hate the long hours and stress that come with these trips.  This trip was going to be no different, full of day-long meetings and putting out all the fires that need my attention.  And this trip would be longer than normal; a full week.  I’m already feeling the ulcers forming and my plane hasn’t even lifted off yet.

I usually make these trips as short as possible, leaving early on the morning of my first meeting and leaving almost immediately after my last.  But after going over the trip with my wife, she encouraged me to leave a day early and to stay the night after my last meeting to recover.  Since it was her suggestion, I felt no guilt in agreeing to it.  So here I sat, early on a Sunday afternoon waiting for my flight to leave.

The flight went off without any problems and I was soon in my rental car.  It was getting late in the evening, so I thought I would enjoy a nice meal of my choosing before settling down for the night.  I never care for eating out alone, but guessing that my schedule this week would not allow for many meals where I want to eat, I made this one count.  After the meal, I checked into the hotel and unpacked my suitcase, trying to make this hotel room feel as much like home as possible.  I thought about calling home to let the family know that I made it, but decided to do a little homework first.  I could get work out of the way and make my wife’s voice the last thing I heard before I went to sleep.

I grabbed my computer bag, pulled out my laptop, and put it on the coffee table.  I sat down on the sofa, grabbed my mouse, and power source out of my satchel.  When I pulled the mouse power plug from my bag, out came a DVD in one of those paper sleeves.  Written on the outside of the envelope was a simple little note “from your wife!  XOXOXO”.  I was a little confused.  She would sometimes slip notes into my suitcase or computer bag when I would go out of town, but this was the first time she had packed a computer disc for me.  Wondering what she might have on the disc, I eagerly put it in the computer. 

To my surprise a movie began.  And the opening scene was my wife sitting on the edge of our bed wearing her pink silky robe and not much else.  Her bare legs were crossed, her palms resting on the bed on either side of her, her head tilted to the side, her hair pulled back in a tight pony tell, and a cute little smile on her face.  She was bouncing her foot as she sat silently, building my tension and anticipation.

“Hi honey,” she finally said with a giggle as she tilted her head to the other side.  “I wanted you to know that I hate you being away from home just as much as you do.  I wish you were here with me tonight…but…you’re not.  I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and I wanted you to have something to think about me, so I thought I would make a little movie for you to enjoy.”

She moved her hands so that they were resting on her legs.  She straightened her head so that she was looking directly into the camera.

“If this all goes well, maybe I’ll make a movie for each day you’re gone,” she said with a raised eyebrow and a shrug of her shoulders.  “So here it goes!”

She looked away from the camera, cleared her throat, and then reached for something.  She picked up a bag and set it next to her on the bed.  All this movement caused her robe to fly open a bit.  I paused the video and watched those few frames over and over.  I confirmed what I suspected, that she was naked under her robe.  I had no idea what she had planned next, but my imagination was in overdrive, and I was going to sit back and enjoy the show.  I started to change into my pajamas, but thought why bother.  It looks like she is going to put on a good show for me, so I should enjoy it.  I stripped out of my clothes and sat back down naked to watch the movie.  My dick was already hardening looking at the paused but pretty face of my wife on my computer screen.  I notice my hand shaking as I reached for the mouse to resume the video.

“You know,” she began with a sly smile, still not looking directly at the camera, “one of my favorite things is when you stroke my legs.  I like when you start by lightly stroking them, starting down at my feet and slowly work your way up like this.”

She uncrossed her legs and straightened one of them.  Bending over, she reached her hands out and dragged her fingers up her leg.

“Then you move them higher and higher teasing me with how close you get them,” she was looking at the camera, but her hands kept sliding up her thigh, beginning to push her silky robe out of the way. 

“Your touch makes me spread my legs,” she continued, “inviting you to go further and touch me more.”

Her actions matched her words.  She spread her legs and slid her hands under her robe.  When they reached her crotch, she closed her eyes and took a quick, deep breathe.  I could see one hand grinding away between her legs.  She brought the other hand up to her mouth, sucking and licking on a few fingers.  Her freshly licked hand replaced her hand between her legs and she moaned louder.  Her free hand now roamed her robe-covered body, even reaching inside the robe, causing it to fall free as she rubbed her tits.  Suddenly, she stopped, held her hands out in front of her, and slowly lowered them to her lap.  Her eyes were still closed and her breathing was deep and slow.

“Then you stop,” she said with her eyes still closed.  She paused, opened her eyes, and continued, “You have always liked a tease.  You like teasing me and you like me to tease you.  So, after you just stop and leave me wanting more, I take things into my own hands.”

She turned, opened the bag, and brought out a dildo toy that I had not seen before.  It was a realistic looking one with a long cock and big balls.  She looked it over with a smirk on her face and then looked at the camera out of the corner of her eye.

“See, I take things into my own hands, literally,” she says as she holds the base of her toy with one hand and strokes its length with the other.  “You have me so worked up with your teasing that I want more.  So I take your pants off of you and now have your cock in my hands.  It is hard, so I know you were enjoying what you were doing to me and I feel it getting harder so I know you enjoy what I am doing to you.”

She spent the next minute eagerly and lovingly stroking the toy with a sly smile on her face.  I noticed that I was matching her rhythm with my hand on my dick.

“Oh I wish you were here,” she said in a hushed tone.  “I could feel your hands on me, you could feel my hands on you, and then I could feel your dick in me.”

The mood on her face changed and she was more focused on the toy in her hand.

“I wish you were here with me, I wish you were here with me,” she repeated over and over building the volume in her voice and intensity in her body as if she were building toward an orgasm.  Finally, she threw her head back and in a loud scream repeated, “I WISH YOU WERE HERE!”

The screen blurred when her words finished.  Well, not really a blur.  Maybe saying the image of the screen got wavy, like when the character on a TV show or movie enters a dream sequence.  When the image cleared again, there sat my wife still sitting on the bed, only she was not alone in the room.  Her realistic looking toy had been replaced with a real man; a real naked man who wasn’t me.  So I guess her wish had come true, mostly.  Obviously, she had my full attention now and questions were flooding my mind.  Who was this guy?  When did this happen?  What was going to happen?  How far was this going to go?  Each second brought more questions.

I didn’t wait too long to find out some of those answers.  Her hand was wrapped around his shaft and she was handling him just as she was handling the toy before.  So she certainly was not against touching this unknown man; at least he was unknown to me.

“Mmmm,” she moaned as she worked his length and balls with her hands, “I’m glad you made it.  I was really getting myself worked up and in need of something.  I think some of this meat will help satisfy me.”

She sounded like a woman that wanted to go all the way with this guy and it already looked like they were past the point of stopping or caring.

“I just want a little taste,” she said and inched her face closer to his cock.  She gave a quick glance at the camera out of the corner of her eye; a teasing little look making sure I was still watching.

I couldn’t believe it.  She was talking about giving this guy a blow job.  No, she wasn’t just talking; she was actually going to give this guy a blow.  And she didn’t just record this for herself; she recorded for me to watch.  She knew I would watch it and love it.  She was right.  Even though my heart was racing, I loved every bit of this movie.  My dick was as hard as it has ever been and it was aching to be touched.  I did not dare to touch it, fearful it might explode.

I swallowed hard, my dry mouth made it difficult, as I watched her slowly open her sexy mouth.  I let out a moan when her lips, covered with bright red lipstick, engulfed the head of his cock.  She sucked on his head for a few seconds before backing away.  With a smile she looked up at him.

“That was nice,” she said, “now I want more!”

Quickly she had his shaft back in her mouth.  Her hand was wrapped around the base of his member and limited the amount of length that she sucked in, but as fast as she was working, deep throating was not her concern, only providing some quick pleasure to him and a good show to me was.  It was working, for me at least.  She was putting on a good show.  Something about her looked so erotic as she bobbed back and forth on his dick.  Watching one hand knead his balls and the other stroke his shaft’s length, working in the saliva she was leaving behind, was the sexiest thing I have ever seen.

She knew what she was doing to his cock and she knew what she was doing to me.  I was stroking my cock at the same pace she was sucking his.  After a few minutes, my wife’s co-star reached his hands up and grabbed her hair, half holding it out of the way and half pulling her head, forcing more of his dick into her mouth.  Slowing her pace, she now focused more on taking in as much of his manhood as she could.  Once comfortable with his size, she released her grip on his shaft and balls, dropping her hands out of the frame, and allowing him free access to fuck her face.  He kept his grip on her hair, guiding his dick in and out of her mouth.  My wife opened her eyes, looked straight at the camera, and waved a cute little wave in my direction before closing them again to focus on the dick in her mouth.

My mind and imagination were in overdrive.  Questions still were everywhere and I imagined what would happen next.  All sorts of positions, activities, and sounds came to mind, some I hoped for and some I feared.

Attempting to regain control, my wife wrapped her hand around her friend’s cock and force it out of her mouth.  With a smile, she swallowed hard, trying to regain normal feeling in her mouth and jaw after sucking on his big dick and letting it fuck her mouth for so long.  Slowly she stroked his member, using the leftover saliva from her mouth as lubricant to lovingly pet the full length of it.  Her friend let his hands slip from her head and delicately traced her face and then slid them under her robe and across her shoulders.

“MMM,” she moaned, opening her eyes and looking up at him, “I guess you want that off.”

I could not hear his answer, but seeing her wide smile and hearing her say “I thought so,” told me he said yes.

She untied her robe and slipped it off her shoulders.  With a quick move, she peeled the robe off and flung it to the side.  Now naked, like her friend, my wife giggled and slid back onto the bed a little.

“I think it’s my turn now,” she said as she lay back on the bed and spread her legs.

The camera angle shifted to a new one more from the side.  The camera seemed to be on our side table or maybe her chest of drawers.  I could see the entire mattress and had a sexy profile view of my wife as she lay naked on our bed.  She had her legs bent with her feet resting on the bed and I’m sure it created a welcoming site for her friend. When the new view came on the screen, my wife’s friend already had his head buried between her legs.  Her legs blocked a direct view of his face and I cursed that fact, but at the same time I was drawn to the erotic scene playing out on the screen.

I saw his head moving around as I imagined his lips and tongue exploring and stimulating her.  It was working.  She was moaning and squirming her hips trying to get his tongue into just the right spot.  She started to reach down and grab his head but stopped before getting there.  She instead used her hands to massage her tits and rub across her smooth skin.  I could tell the action was hot and heavy, but because of the camera position, I couldn’t see many details, so my imagination was running wild with what his tongue or fingers were doing there between her legs.  Almost sensing my growing frustration with the lack of a visual sign of the action, my wife decided she wanted more.

“I want that cock inside me,” she said resting on her elbows on the bed.

Her friend backed away and then crawled on the bed between her legs.  My wife had done a good job with camera positioning and I still could not see her friend’s face.  She also twisted on the bed so I could have a better view of the fun happening between her legs.  I watched as her friend grabbed his dick and pointed it towards her pussy.  He teased her some by rubbing the head of his cock across her lips and slowly sliding in her just enough for her to feel it and then pulling back out.

I saw her face tense and breathing get heavier as his teasing continued.  It had been a long time since I saw that much lust on her face.  The suspense was building for me as I watched intently and waited for what seemed to be a foregone conclusion now, when this stranger would fully penetrate my willing wife.  I stopped masturbating and held my dick firmly in my hands.  Part of me wanted to reach through the screen and put a stop to all this nonsense.  This was my wife after all.  But that was only a small part.  The larger part of me wanted to reach through the screen and help him guide his dick into her pussy, this was my wife after all and I wanted to see her pleasured and not teased.

I even found myself talking to the screen, saying “Give it to her.  She really wants it, just stick that dick in her and make her scream.”  He listened.  He slowly slid his dick inside her at far as he could.  My wife threw her head back and inhaled deeply feeling this strange dick filling her.  Slowly he pulled out and then reentered her starting a slow, rhythmic pleasure flow.  My wife was being very vocal with her encouragement telling him how good it felt and how she wanted more.

I was in a trance.  Here was my beautiful wife enjoying the erotic pleasures of another man, not hiding anything, but showing me exactly what he is doing and how she is enjoying it.  She looked so hot and sexy to me.  All I could do was sit back, enjoy the show, and stroke my cock.  I was so hard and so turned-on that it didn’t take long for me to explode.  I shot my load all over my chest as I listened to my wife scream the pleasures that her friend was giving her.

Part of me was saddened that I couldn’t control myself any more than I had.  I considered turning off the movie now that I was spent, but I just couldn’t do that.  Something inside me said I had to watch all of it.  I don’t know if it was some sort of a punishment I was subjecting myself to or if I really liked it that much, even after having just had my orgasm.   I’m not a multi-orgasmic type of guy and I need some recovery time before I am able to go again, a fact my wife has often lamented, so I guess I was surprised that I found myself still drawn to watch this erotic scene.  I knew I had always liked to see my wife smile, even if I wasn’t the one who made her smile and so I convinced myself tonight that I just really enjoyed seeing my wife being pleasured.   In this case, that just happened to be in a sexual way.  I clean-up and sat back down to finish the movie my wife had sent.

They stayed in this position for a long time, changing the pace and intensity of the fuck.  My wife got more vocal and more active with her hands, encouraging her friend.  Suddenly, he pulled out and got off the bed.  My wife looked at him with a puzzled look and appeared to be listening to something he said.  She then smiled as she began to move.

“I sure will, I know how much you like this position,” she said, apparently in response to his request. 

She rolled over and got on her hands and knees and spread her legs.  Looking back over her shoulder, she smiled and told him to come and get it as she wiggled her ass.  Her friend climbed back on the bed, positioned himself between her legs, and guided his dick inside her.  My wife collapsed onto the bed, leaving her ass sticking up in the air and giving him a good angle to drive his dick deep inside her.  He locked his hands on her hips and used them to push and pull his dick in and out.  He wasted no time and was soon pounding away hard and fast. 

He reached out and grabbed her hair.  As he pulled it, my wife raised back up so that she was on her hands and knees again.  He kept pulling her hair until she her back was arched and she was looking at the ceiling.  This position let her tits hang free and bounce with each thrust from her friend.  I thought before when she was sucking this stranger’s dick that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.  Well I was wrong.  This was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.  Here was my wife, on her hands and knees with another guy fucking her hard from behind.  The only thing that would make that even sexier would be if I had my hard dick was in front of her for her to suck while she was getting pounded.  Sadly, my dick was still limp and recovering so I couldn’t join in even if I were there.  But I was still enjoying the thoughts and I did feel a stirring in my loins, just not enough to awaken my little giant. 

They continued in this position for a while, throwing in some playful variances.  He would release my wife’s hair and grab it again.  She would reach back and play with his balls.  He would smack her ass.  She would be very vocal with encouragements and request.  Finally he withdrew and climbed off the bed again.  My wife made some comment about him being tired and should lay down.

Again the camera angle changed as the two lovers changed positions.  With him now laying on the bed, he camera was at an angle, similar to the first position, that showed his lower half, but kept his head obscured.  My wife climbed on the bed and lay next to him.  She wrapped her hand around his cock and lovingly stroked it as the two made small talk, trying to regain their breath.  She then twisted on the bed and started another blowjob on him, while he played with her ass that was sticking in the air.  Since they both were warmed up, they did not stay in this position long.  She straddled him and guided his dick inside her as she sat down.

The camera angle gave me a great view of the penetration and I could see his dick deep inside her and his balls squished against her ass as she sat there.  I saw her hips rocking as she wiggled his stiff member around hitting all the right spots.  This was the first time I had seen anything like this angle and I was surprised how erotic it was.  My dick was even twitching as it was struggling to come back to life.

She wiggled more and even bucked her hips a couple of time.  Her friend took the opportunity to reach up and grab her tits.  I could not see exactly what he was doing, but it looked like he was having fun and my imagination would take care of the details.  After a little more bucking of her hips, she started to really get into the action.  She started riding him harder and harder.  I could see her picking her hips off the bed and lowering herself back down onto his cock.  The faster she went the harder she slammed her hips into his and the harder his balls bounced in return.  I could tell she was getting close to her orgasm from the way she was breathing and moving, but suddenly she stopped.  She sat down on his dick and just stayed there.

Slowly she began to move and she turned herself around so that she was not sitting reverse cowgirl.  She lowered herself on his cock again.  From this position she could play with his balls and he could only lay there and enjoy her ride.  He could not reach her tits and could barely reach her ass.  My wife started rocking her hips and then looked straight at the camera.

Her hair was soaked with sweet and her skin glistening in the light.  She had that sexy wet look.  Her face was full of lust.  Her eyes had a burning fire that could only be quenched with the flood of an orgasm and I could tell that she was determined to use this dick to release that flood.  She blew a kiss to me through the camera and that was enough to awaken my dick.  It did not spring to life, but it was now able to grow and appreciate the erotic stimulation my wife was sending its way.  She sat up so that now she was giving me a full view of her nakedness and his dick entering her.    She used her hands to massage and squeeze her tits as she rode, increasing her pace and never taking her eyes off the camera.

One of her hands dropped between her legs, squeezing his balls.  She then used that hand to stimulate her clit, since it was being ignored in this position.  She got much more vocal and much more animated in her actions.  It wasn’t long before she was done and had an explosive orgasm.  Her body tensed and she squeezed everything she could; her tits and his balls with her hands and his body with her legs.  She collapsed and rolled off him.

I watched her body heavy as she was breathing and his hands were trying to encourage her to do more, but she was exhausted.  I could tell he was disappointed and so was I.  My dick was finally hard again and I was ready to masturbate to more action, but it was over and done.  She pulled herself up to lay next to him and to plant a passionate kiss on his lips.  Her hand wrapped around his cock and she played while they kissed.

The image faded and a new one took its place.  The two actors were back in their original positions.  The scene looked like the one that opened this movie, only my wife was naked and covered in sweat.  Also, her friend had his dick in his hand jerking it off.  My wife sat there with a smile on her face as her eyes moved from looking up at him to looking at his dick to looking at me through the camera.

“Mmm, you made me feel so good,” she said to her friend with a sultry tone.  “I want you to show me how much you liked it.  I want you to cum for me, cum all over my chest.  I want it all right here.”

She squeezed her tits together as a target as she spoke to him.

I could see his hand move harder and faster and found my hand doing the same.

With more encouragement from her, he exploded, and so did I.  His first shot went right past her head.  My wife opened her mouth wide in shock, but then quickly shut it tight, not wanting any to make it into her mouth.  His remaining loads found their mark and he emptied himself on her chest.  When he was done, my wife giggled and winked at the camera. 

The picture did another wavy, dream sequence-like transition.  My wife was sitting alone on the bed in the same pose and position she was in before all the sex started.  She smiled at the camera.  She was not sweaty and no one would have ever guessed that she had just had a wild romp with a stranger.  She is getting better at this video editing stuff.

“That was one intense dream,” she began.  “I told you how badly I wished you were here.  I’m just glad you were here to share it with me.”

She giggled and shrugged her shoulders like a schoolgirl.

“Now don’t call me,” she said with a very matter-of-fact tone and even shook her finger at the camera.  “I know you like to call me and tell me all about your days, but not tonight.  That will tell me you liked my little movie.”

After a brief pause, she continued.

“And I’m sure I’ll have my hands full making another movie for you.  Well maybe more than just my hands will be full.  I hope you sleep tight.  I’ll send you an email about the other movie tomorrow.”

With a wave of her hand to say goodbye, the picture faded to black.  I was left with a mess to clean-up and a head full of questions.  So much of me wanted to call and talk about everything I had just seen.  But more of me wanted to be obedient to my wife and not call.  She had something planned and part of that plan was me not calling, so I did not call.

With my mind racing and a pit in my stomach it should have been tough for me to get to sleep.  But I just had two intense orgasms, at least intense for giving them to myself, and my body was telling me to get some rest. 

My body won.

I woke up wondering if all of that had actually happened, but I knew it had.  I got myself ready for my day full of meetings and began the work of distracting my mind until I could get back to my room that night.  It was going to be a tough day, but at least I could look forward to tonight and what my wife would do.  What she did will be a story for another time.  Off to work I go.

So now what?

So the main man in your life wants you to be with other men, huh?

Maybe that is a new revelation to you, or maybe he had been obsessed with it in his fantasy talk with you, or maybe he is pushing to make this fantasy a reality.  Your mind is probably swirling and you are feeling confused about how to handle all the emotions, wants, and concerns. And if you are here, reading this, then you are probably in the same spot I was in and are probably at least a little excited about the possibility of it all.  So maybe a little about my story will help.

The idea of our men being okay with us sleeping with other men hits us all differently.  I was mad, hurt, sad, and depressed.  How could my husband, the one man I had committed the rest of my life to be with and faithful to be okay with me having sex with other men.  It was more than that, he was more than just okay with it, and he got off on it.  I was having trouble with how it meant that my husband viewed me and where I belonged in our relationship.  My mind told me it meant that I was nothing special that he would want to keep or protect just for him.  It meant that he saw me as just a toy, a sex toy that he could share or loan out to others for fun, and not as a loving woman committed to him and to us.  We tried to talk about it and I tried to explain how it all made me feel and even some of my concerns if we move forward with this choice of lifestyle, but some of those talks did not end so nicely as I would get angry at how insensitive I felt he was.  And then there were the concerns about him only wanting this so he could sleep with other women.

So, I tried to see things from his perspective.  I searched around, looking for any information I could find.  I read stories, science articles, and some blogs.  I even watched a few pornos.  The more I information I found, the more the thoughts were on my mind and the more of an emotional rollercoaster I was on.  There was still some anger, but there was also some excitement and thrill mixed in.  Those exciting feelings began to concern me and I wasn’t sure how I should handle those.  Even if the thoughts of it all did turn me, that is just not how a wife and mother behaves.

Then one day, the stars all aligned. I realized that it wasn’t anything I was doing or not doing, it was him, it was his fetish.  And if he wanted it and wanted me to have it, then why not enjoy the ride.  He is my husband, I am his wife, and we are in this life together, committed to each other.  So I searched more, this time letting myself enjoy the excitement more, enjoying the thoughts and fantasies that my mind worked up.  More of my free time was spent thinking about it, different scenarios, different men, different couples, and different thrills.  And if our society didn’t think that this mother and wife should be thinking about these things, dreaming about these things, and wanting these things, then too bad.  I AM A WOMAN, a living, breathing, human with sexual wants and desires.  This society has long celebrated men who think and act in this way, so now it is my turn for some equal treatment.  Now it is this wife’s turn!!!

My searching led me to find that this fetish is called cuckoldry, candaulism, or a few other terms that all have different meaning to different people and I think many guys have this fantasy or fetish, even if they don’t admit it or have any desire to act on it.  The constants between them all are that the wives sleep around while the husbands don’t, the husbands love their wives and wives love their husbands, and the wives are in control.  After that, the details are up to you to work out however you want to make them best fit your life and desires.  The more I learned about this fetish and the more I read about people who lived it, the more my view of it all changed.  What at first seems like a husband being indifferent or insensitive to his wife’s needs actually turns out to be the opposite.  You, as the wife, are the center of his fantasies and he puts your satisfaction, sexual and otherwise, above all else.  Above his own desires, above his own needs, and even his own manhood and self in some relationships.

Imagine how many women want that place of prominence in their husband’s mind, and my husband was willing to give it to me.  All I had to do was take it.  I came to realize that I am indeed special to him.  I am his precious jewel and he will give his life protecting me and keeping me happy and satisfied.  He is even willing to humiliate himself to do it.  He has found his place and found his way to enjoy me enjoying myself (and others 🙂 )

That does not mean that everything is smooth and easy going from here.  Even after deciding to enjoy the ride, there was still a mental battle with guilt and worry.  We had some fights and our relationship was strained.  But it felt good, REAL GOOD, and neither of us could deny that and neither of us wanted that ‘umph’ (as one of my online friends, miss you Becca, calls it) to end.  We kept talking and kept working through the issues we had.  Even now, our relationship continues to evolve with each new experience and I would love to say that everything is rosy, but we still have our issues and we still have to work through them.  We are married, so some fighting is required 🙂

So you may be thinking, “That’s fine and good and all, but I still wonder why?”

That is a good question.  Unfortunately, there is no one answer to why men enjoy this fetish.  Once you answer that question for your man, you can begin to establish the rules and details of living this lifestyle in your relationship.

The cuckold fetish has a very big submission element in it for the cuck.  In his mind, there is nothing more submissive than knowing his wife wants to have sex with other men.  She makes no attempt to hide it from him and often times makes him watch.  Where does this intense desire to submit come from?   Maybe he is a big-wig in the corporate world; the man in charge or the head boss all day and wants a break from it all night.  Maybe he grew up with a domineering mother who made every decision for him.  If that’s him, then he is most comfortable with a woman calling the shots and what bigger shots are there than sexual shots :).  Maybe he had a previous relationship where his wife walked all over him and he longs for that strong woman to control him.  If any of those fit him, then it is the humiliation that turns him on.  He wants that humiliation, he wants you to say “too late, you brought me here and I’m gonna enjoy it.”  He will tell you no, but have the hardest erection he has ever had as you tell him all about what you are going to do, who and how many you are going to do it with, and how you might let him join in or might even plan some times for his enjoyment.  He is more submissive in his nature and just cannot bring himself to “tell” you what to do.  Some questions you might answer to see if this fits him…Who is more aggressive in bed?  Who is more creative when it comes to sex?  Does he jump at the chance to do even the smallest request you have?  What about chores around the house, does he gripe and complain, do them without a word when asked, or do them without being asked? What type of fantasy does he bring up most…one where he will get the pleasure, or one where you will get the pleasure?

The cuckold fetish can also be used by him to cover up any jealousy he has.  A lot of cuckold husbands get to these fantasies by repressing the jealousy of sharing their spouses and attempt to change that jealousy to excitement and lust as a way of not dealing with it.  Have their been any traumatic incidents in his life with jealousy or lost (or almost lost) relationships?  He may be telling you to go ahead and enjoying the thoughts and actions as a way of covering up the jealousy, but when the euphoria and lust is gone, the jealousy cannot be hidden any more.  Some questions to ask to see if this fits him…Any significant break-ups after a long term or intense relationship?  How and why did the break-up occur?  Any relationships where he had to fight hard to keep his girlfriend and fending off other players?  Any strife between his parents that might cause him to avoid and relational confrontations?  Any past issues that may cause him to try to make things ‘right’ now?

The cuckold fetish could also be used to cover up any insecurities he has.  Maybe he is insecure about his penis size, his abilities in bed, or the number of your previous lovers and how he compares to them.  He may even be insecure about something non-sexual.  He could feel insecure about his job, his ability to provide for your family, his looks, his childhood, or just about anything.  The cuck turns the pain from those insecurities into lust and pleasure by seeing you get the physical stimulation other men provide you.  His enjoyment comes vicariously through you and the enjoyment he ‘allows’ you to have.

No matter how or why you get here, you are at a crossroads of a sexual journey.

One path leads down the comfortable relationship that you have been in for years.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking that road.  It is safe, well-traveled, and secure.  It still takes work to travel down it, but the outcome is known.  The other path is full of unknowns.  There are bumps and potholes for sure.  It can be a difficult path to travel down and take a lot of work.  But what a thrilling path it is!!!  It is full of intense excitement and nervousness that you haven’t felt in years.  It can make you feel so alive and awaken a sexual beast that has been hidden since your teenage or early-college years.

If you are still reading then there is more than just a little interest in enjoying this lifestyle.

Say yes because it feels so good.  Say yes because it has been a long time since you’ve taken a risk.  Say yes because it will awaken that horny young woman that could think of nothing but her orgasm when she got her first taste.  Do something impulsive, say yes, and hang on!!  Just say YES!!!

He brought you here, he introduced you to this world, and now it is yours to embrace and enjoy!

Men start us on this journey, but we women keep it going and keep loving it!!  Once they start us on the path, there is no going back!!!!!

If you have any questions, ASK AWAY!!!  I’m happy to help, but the final decision must be yours alone.  Don’t let anyone force you into this.

Well, that is enough for now.

Good Luck!!!!