A cuckolding and strong woman to share her adventures and advice. I like to share :).

Posts tagged ‘sharing husband’

Virtues of Infidelity

I seem to be on a pattern about monogamy.  I found this to be interesting and it will certainly open some more conversations with my husband and I.  I don’t see us embracing this life, we seem to be happy where we are.

 Source:  http://www.underpaidgenius.com/post/7188935176


Mark Oppenheimer explores monogamy with Dan Savage, the well-known sex-advice columnist:

Mark Oppenheimer via

Savage’s position on monogamy is frequently caricatured. He does not believe in promiscuity; indeed, his attacks on the anonymous-sex, gay-bathhouse culture were once taken as proof of a secret conservative agenda. And he does not believe that monogamy is wrong for all couples or even for most couples. Rather, he says that a more realistic sexual ethic would prize honesty, a little flexibility and, when necessary, forgiveness over absolute monogamy. And he believes nostalgically, like any good conservative, that we might look to the past for some clues.

“The mistake that straight people made,” Savage told me, “was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous. Men had concubines, mistresses and access to prostitutes, until everybody decided marriage had to be egalitarian and fairsey.” In the feminist revolution, rather than extending to women “the same latitude and license and pressure-release valve that men had always enjoyed,” we extended to men the confines women had always endured. “And it’s been a disaster for marriage.”

In their own marriage, Savage and Miller practice being what he calls “monogamish,” allowing occasional infidelities, which they are honest about. Miller was initially opposed to the idea. “You assume as a younger person that all relationships are monogamous and between two people, that love means nothing can come between you,” said Miller, who met Savage at a club in 1995, when he was 23 and Savage was 30. “Dan has taught me to be more realistic about that kind of stuff.

“It was four or five years before it came up,” Miller said. “It’s not about having three-ways with somebody or having an open relationship. It is just sort of like, Dan has always said if you have different tastes, you have to be good, giving and game, and if you are not G.G.G. for those tastes, then you have to give your partner the out. It took me a while to get down with that.” When I asked Savage how many extramarital encounters there have been, he laughed shyly. “Double digits?” I asked. He said he wasn’t sure; later he and Miller counted, and he reported back that the number was nine. “And far from it being a destabilizing force in our relationship, it’s been a stabilizing force. It may be why we’re still together.”

While his marriage opened up gradually, Savage says that “there’s not a one-size-fits-all way” to approach nonmonogamy, especially if both partners committed to monogamy at the start. “Folks on the verge of making those monogamous commitments,” Savage told me in one of our many e-mail exchanges, “need to look at the wreckage around them — all those failed monogamous relationships out there (Schwarzenegger, Clinton, Vitter, whoever’s on the cover of US magazine this week) — and have a conversation about what it’ll mean if one or the other partner should cheat. And agree, at the very least, to getting through it, to place a higher value on the relationship itself than on one component of it, sexual exclusivity.”


It was not until the 20th century that Americans evolved an understanding of marriage in which partners must meet all of each other’s needs: sexual, emotional, material. When we rely on our partners for everything, any hint of betrayal is terrifying. “That is the bind we are in,” Coontz said. “We accord so much priority to the couple relationship. It is tough under those conditions for most people to live with the insecurity of giving their partners permission to have flings.”

From an anthropological perspective, modern monogamous marriage is an artifact of the industrial revolution, and the modern nation state. The emergence of the 20th century nuclear family, deeply integrated into a mythos of romantic love-based marriage, is strangely tied to religious morality, even for those that are secular. 

A society based on home-owning, hard-working, go-to-church-on-sundays families living tight-knot village-sized communities has a nostalgic appeal, even if it wasn’t really true, even back in the day.

Post-industrial society will be based on older, and not just different norms. A return to tribal forms of authority and power, for example, and enigmatic, not dogmatic, spirituality. We will accept sexual desire and expression, instead of sex being considered legitimate only within the confines of officially-sanctioned heterosexual, monogamous love.

This moral shift will take decades to cascade into everyday life, but the acceptance of homosexuals and lesbians into Western culture, as well as growing acceptance of open sexuality will lead to a broader spectrum of stable relationships, ranging from monogamous, to monogamish, to polygamous, to polyamorous.


First Swing the Other Way

After we had opened our relationship to other men, and some negotiating from my husband, I had agreed to bring another woman into our relationship.  At least, I agreed to see what another woman would add to our relationship with no guarantees that it would happen again.  We did some looking together and narrowed down the possibilities together.  But it is not like looking for a guy, there are not many single women to choose from.  I ended up making the final choice; there was no way I was going to give him that option.

Anyway, she agreed to meet, but it took some convincing.  Turns out she was really into being with another woman and was uncertain if she wanted to join a couple, but she decided to do it.  She came over for a dinner and we would just let things go from there.  Dinner went well, but she did not eat much, I think the nerves were getting to her some.  I broke out some wine to help with that and since she did not eat much, the wine worked pretty quickly.  We found out that we were her first for anything like this and she just wanted to see what it was all about.  She was nervous, but she was willing.

After dinner we talked more and became more relaxed.  We asked her if she would be open to us videoing the night’s encounter and she was a little shy about it at first, but after we reassured her that it would be for our personal use, she agreed.  We had started videoing our fun as a way of involving a third person without them directly involved and to have something we could playback in between our fun times to keep the intensity up.  So as my husband readied the video camera, I led our new lady friend back to the bedroom to get it and us ready.

My husband came into the room with the video camera rolling.  He walked up behind me and gave me a quick kiss on the neck and a quick feel-up with his free hand.  I told him that we should consider our guest first and he should make her feel welcome.  He took a step towards her, but then she stopped him and took the camera from him.  She wanted to film us for a bit to get warmed up.  My husband handed her the camera and I worked on stripping him from his clothes.  I even gave his dick a quick work over.

So with him naked on the bed, I stood and did a slow teasing strip show for my husband (and for the camera my friend was holding).  I got down to my bra and panties, even taking time to slowly remove my black, lacy stockings before beginning a sultry walk towards the camera and my friend.  With my best lusty voice, I said “Your turn” as I grabbed the camera and pointed it in her direction.

She started slowly and it took some encouragement for her to even dance and sway to the music.  Not wanting to lose the mood in the room, I handed the camera to my husband as he lay on the bed and moved to help my friend get more comfortable.  I stood behind her, place my hands on her hips, a matched her body’s movement with my own.  I slid my hands down her hips, across her black leather skirt until my fingers touched her hose-covered legs.  I then slowly slid them back up until they reached her waist.

I began pulling at her blouse to un-tuck it from her skirt.  Once free, I slowly unbuttoned it as our bodies still swayed to the music and I put my chin on her shoulder, breathing my hot breath on her neck.  When the last button was loosed, I peeled the blouse off her one side at a time, like unwrapping a present for the camera.  My husband was enjoying being the camera man as he was off the bed, shooting shots from all different angles.  From his hard cock, I could tell he was enjoying what he was filming.

I tossed the blouse to the side and rubbed my hands over her soft skin.  I could feel the goose bumps of nervousness as I tried to comfort her with my touch.   I started at her shoulders and traced my fingertips down her arms.  I rested my hands on her hips, feeling them swaying more freely now.  I slid my hands to the back of her skirt so that they were between the two of us.  I found the zipper of her skirt and zipped it down, loosening the skirt from her hips and letting it fall to the floor.  I spun her around so that we were now face to face in our underwear with the camera still rolling.  She had her hands on my shoulders and I had my hands on her hips.

Both of our eyes were darting around, trying to take in as much of each other as we could in the close quarters and low-light of the room before locking in on each other.  My friend slowly moved her hands across my shoulders and settled on my neck.  Time seemed to slow down and we both smiled a nervous smile at each other. 

Then I made my move.

I leaned in for a kiss.  It was a soft, simple kiss, but there was a potential in it for so much more.  I pulled back to see her response and our eyes were still locked, with no remorse or regret, only passion and lust.  I felt her hands tighten on the back of my neck and she pulled me back to her again.  This time the kiss was not a simple kiss, it was deep, full force, and passionate.

I had never been with another woman before, so this was all new to me too, but the new sexualness that had awakened in me took over and I wanted to experience all that I had begun to fantasize about.  I wanted to feel her nakedness, kiss her soft skin from lips to lips, caress her breasts the way I enjoy mine to be caressed, touch and tease her the way I like to be teased, lick her the way I like to be licked, and finally to have her do all of that to me.

As we kissed, I was rubbing her backside, from her panty-covered ass to her shoulders.  I paused at her bra strap and she even intensified her kissing as I started to unclasp it.  I let it pop open and then began to pull it off her shoulders.  We broke our embrace and she took a step back, giving me plenty of room to remove her bra and massage her breasts as I did it.  With a smile and a twirl, I tossed her bra at my cameraman husband.  I grabbed the arms of my friend and guided her to the bed, pushing her down so that she landed on her back with a plop on top of the mattress.  I stood overtop of her and released my own bra, tossing it to the side, and crawled on top of the bed and over my friend.

Playfully, I draped my tits across various parts of her body, creating some mood-lightening giggles.  It’s not that I wanted to kill the mood, but I am not a real serious person, I always like to laugh and smile, so I was just being me.  And I still wanted to feel everything, I wanted my itch scratched and I want it bad, but I enjoy being playful just as much as I enjoy my orgasm.  This playfulness also gave me the freedom to explore and push the limits a little more without fear.  I don’t think I can explain it well enough, but this playfulness would allow my friend and I a chance to see how far we really wanted this to go without fear of rejection.

So I played with her tits and let her play with mine.  Leaning over her body, I brought my chest to her face and she willingly licked my nipple, then sucked and kissed it, sending shivers of pleasure through my body.  I responded by getting more bold with my hands and rubbing her legs and panty-covered honey pot.  She did the same for me.

I looked up and saw my husband was all over the bed.  He had the camera in tons of places, getting tons of views, and to his credit he did no directing.  He let the action go at its own pace and let us do what we wanted. And I wanted more and to give him a good show.

I moved between her legs and tugged at her underwear.  She raised her hips and allowed me to remove them easily.  My husband positioned himself near the head of the bed and scanned her naked body (except for her stockings) with the camera.  I smiled at him as he paused, looking at me, and said something like ‘Here I go’.  I kissed up her legs until I had my head buried in between her legs.  I heard her soft moans as I took in the full aroma of her sweetness and breathed my hot breath on her lips. 

With a breath and a swallow, I dove in, starting with soft kisses and teasing licks.  I was hesitant about the taste, but I will now admit that it was nothing I should have been concerned about.  I can’t really describe it other than to say she tasted different than I do and I wanted more of it. So I kept going and got lost in the world of giving her pleasure.  I focused on giving her pleasure and licking her the way I felt I would like to be licked.  Even though I could feel her squirm and hear her moan, I found it hard to make my tongue and fingers do exactly what I wanted.  I knew what I wanted and knew how to tell my man to give it to me, but when it came to me giving it to her, it was harder than I thought.  I was so used to feeling what I was giving to myself or what my husband was giving to me and without that feedback, I was having trouble knowing just how good I was doing.  I just kept doing what I was doing.

I came up for a breath and to check in with her to see how she was doing.  Her breathing was heavy and a glistening layer of sweat made her skin shine in the candle light of the room.  She look so sexy and I realized how much I was lusting after a woman and how I badly wanted to watch, hear, and feel her orgasm, almost as much as feel my own.

I looked over to see my husband still filming all angles of my friend and me.  He was back near the head of the bed, kneeling near her shoulder.  His cock was rock hard, at hard as I have ever seen him, and he even had some precum on his dick, so I knew he was very turned-on.

I asked my husband if he was enjoying the show and he gave a definite yes.  I said something about getting more involved in the action and asked my friend to help him out.  Slowly and reluctantly, she reached her hand out and wrapped it around his dick.  He was so sensitive that he flinched when she first made contact. 

This was another first for me and I was not sure how I would handle seeing another woman handle my man’s manhood.  Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the building lust of the evening, or maybe I was not as jealous of a woman as I thought, whatever it was, I found myself more excited seeing my husband pleasured.  And I wanted to see more.  I wanted to watch her ravish his dick and watch him respond and even explode with excitement.

I told her how sexy she looked and how nice it was seeing my husband enjoy himself.  I made some comment about her giving him a blowjob, but she shook her head no.  Maybe later she told me as she still stroked him.  She wanted me back between her legs and she wanted to feel my tongue again.  I smiled thinking how much I like her being more assertive.  She had been passive until now, but she was active now, telling us what she wanted.  I loved it.  So, of course, I quickly went between her legs and had her squirming and screaming again.

I heard her tell my husband to straddle her and she would give him something good to film.  I could not see what was going on since my husband’s back was blocking my view, but from the sounds and from my husband’s response I could tell she was giving him one good blowjob.  I increased my oral workover on her to show my appreciation of her efforts.

Suddenly I stopped.

I slid up the bed and straddled her just behind my husband.  I wrapped my arms around him and felt her mouth licking and kissing his dick.  We smiled at each other as I looked around his shoulder to watch her work.  I suggested we switch locations and she agreed.  So I rolled over on the bed, my husband got off the bed to film the exchange, and my friend crawled between my legs after removing my panties.  As erotic as everything had been, I had no trouble with the thought of a woman crawling between my legs.  I think I was overly excited by it.  I always have enjoyed getting licked, but my skin was crawling in anticipation of how she would feel doing it and how good it would feel.  I did not have to wait long and it was definitely worth it.  She was good at what she was doing and it wasn’t long before I had forgotten about my husband.

But he brought me back to reality.

He startled me when he straddled me.  I grabbed his dick and pulled it down to my mouth.  I worked over his length, but I really wanted to focus on his balls while I stroked him.  I wanted to see how close I could get him before stopping.  I don’t know how long we were going at it, but when I stopped I told him to get off the bed and get behind my friend.  He did what he was told, of course he always does.

With him out of the way, I grabbed my friend’s hair and pulled her harder into me.  I rocked my hips hard, really rubbing my honey pot against her tongue.  I then started to encourage my husband to get closer, to touch her, to feel her, and to rub his dick against her.  My friend moaned when she heard my words and even raised her hips off the bed to give him better access.  It seems her resistance to doing anything with my husband was gone.

I released my grip on her hair and watched as my husband started his touching, rubbing, and handling of her.  She would look back at him with a smile and wiggle her ass, teasing and encouraging him, but she never forgot me.  Her pace may have slowed down, but her intensity stayed high and even increased, or maybe it was my lust that increased watching her and my husband play.

For his part, my husband was being playful right back at her and was still able to capture it all on the film.  We had talked about condom use before hand and had all agreed that it would be used, but in the heat of the moment, everyone forgot and no one seemed bothered by it.  Afterwards we talked about it, and my husband and I came up with a plan so it would not happen again.  We both agreed that the risk was too much, but in this moment, everything was so hot and moving so fast that no one even thought about it.

I watched as my husband pointed his dick towards my friend and it disappeared from view.  I could not see it enter her, but when she stopped licking me and almost collapsed into my crotch, I knew he was pushing inside her.  They both moaned and she let out a few choice words saying how f*&*ing good it all felt and I enjoyed the glow of it all.  After a few strokes from my husband, my friend returned to pleasuring me and now all three of us were now being pleasured.

There is something very sexy about seeing the woman that is licking you get her face slammed into your honey pot by a by a guy really pounding away at her.  I laid back and enjoyed the sights, the sounds, and the feelings.  It wasn’t long until I wanted to switch again, so everyone took a small break and then we reconnected all the pieces with my friend and I swapping places.

She had a slightly new taste after enjoying my husband’s dick and I did the best I could to lick it all up.  The build up must have been too much for her because she soon was screaming and writhing and I knew she had her orgasm.  The sights and sounds must have been too much for my husband as he soon exploded too, leaving me as the only one left out.

We all unpiled and I tried to convince my friend to return between my legs, but she had no interest since my husband had just cummed everywhere, but she did lay next to me and kiss and caress my tits as I broke out a toy to complete my night.

It was not as satisfying of an orgasm as it could have been, but I still enjoyed it and my husband and I enjoy watching that tape over and over.