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The cuckold experience

 

The Cuckold Experience 

(click title for original source)

Anyone who’s ever been in one of these relationships will tell you that they’re emotionally complex, physical stimulating, extremely passionate, and intensely erotic. Men and women who’ve been in these types of relationships often become captivated by their unique intensity. Multiple studies demonstrate that the emotional impact of these relationships on their participants is so profound that it can permanently alter brain chemistry levels in both men and women. They become addicted to the thrilling surges of adrenalin (power) and dopamine (pleasure) associated with these activities.

For men, the phrase “once a cuckold, always a cuckold” speaks to this powerful desire and effect. Despite the conflicting emotional turmoil experienced by men in these relationships… often referred to as “cuckold angst”, described as the most intensely erotic roller coaster ride a man will ever experience… men find it highly addictive, and often find themselves wanting to experience it again and again in subsequent relationships with different women. So much so that they will actively seek out women who will cuckold them.

It’s said the most natural cuckolds in the world are men who experienced the emotional trauma of being made a cuckold during their sexually formative years, typically between 16 and 20. A man with a beautiful flirty girlfriend who cheats on him with other men, and then takes her back despite her infidelity… often begging and pleading with her to come back to him… is a man destined to be a cuckold all his life. With that experience, the die is cast. Thereafter, this pattern (she cheats, he forgives and takes her back) will tend to repeat itself.

For women, the experience is different but can be just as addictive, which is why men who think they want their wife to cuckold them need to be very careful about what they wish for. They might just get it. Once a woman has experienced the sexual variety and freedom of having sex with other men in the context of marriage, they will never give it up. The popular phrase “once a woman goes black, she never goes back” is a truism if there ever was one. But it’s a concept that applies not just to white women having sex with black men, but to married women having sex with other men besides their husbands. These types of experiences will forever alter her perceptions, and change the way she looks at things.

The reality that every would-be cuckold needs to face is that once a woman experiences the raw masculine power of a nine inch bull cock working between her legs, and feels what it’s like to cum five or six times in one night, she will never again be satisfied with a four inch penis that discharges in two minutes and then goes soft for the night. It changes the entire dynamic. A cuckold will quickly find out that the loving patience his wife previously showed with his erection and premature ejaculation issues will abruptly come to an end once she knows she has options.

Similarly, men and women who’ve been in serious power exchange relationships, either as the dominant or submissive partner, find them to be highly addictive and often discover that the experience has profoundly altered their perceptions, sexual interests, and desires.

If, for example, during or shortly after some intense power exchange activity, a person consistently has an orgasm, their mind will thereafter begin to associate that particular activity with having an orgasm, and they will find themselves wanting to experience it again and again. Given enough time and experiences, especially when their orgasms are otherwise controlled and restricted, this will apply to virtually any activity. This, of course, forms the basis for and explains the powerful addictive fascination some people have to BDSM relationships and the whole dominant/submissive dynamic. It applies to both to the dominant and submissive partner, and to both men and women.

These types of relationships begin and subsequently develop in all different kinds of ways, each with their own twists, turns, spins, and sexual flavors, reflecting the various interests, motivations, needs, desires, fetishes, passions, characters, and personalities of the individuals involved.

Sometimes it’s the wife’s idea, sometimes it’s the husband’s. Other times it’s spontaneous, unplanned, and just happens. Some women, whose husbands suggest experimenting with the lifestyle, find the concept repulsive and immoral. Other women immediately embrace the idea and take to it like a duck to water. Still other women slowly warm to the notion, dip their toe in the pool cautiously, and then, after a few amazing orgasmic experiences, wish they had thought of it sooner.

Some wives secretly have sex with other men, without their husbands knowing, and actively try to hide it, while other wives do so openly. Some women feel nervous, apprehensive, and guilty about it afterwards, others are confident, poised, and self-assured. Many women experience mixed emotions… a little guilt, mixed with genuine concern about their husband’s feelings, tempered by powerful memories of how incredible the sex was… which is roughly analogous to the “cuckold angst” that men feel (i.e., the next day they feel guilty, then a week later they want to do it again).

Some husbands know about their wife’s sexual activities, and some don’t. Some men harbor suspicions about a cheating wife, while others are clueless. Some men, if and when they do find out about their wife’s affairs, angrily confront her, while men are more introspective and quietly keep it to themselves, afraid to rock the boat. It’s not uncommon for secret cuckolds to become increasingly obsessive about their wife’s activities, and begin monitoring her cell phone, computer, checking her car, following her, etc.

Some husbands find the idea of their wife fucking other men to be intensely erotic, while others are repulsed by it. Some men are excited and exhilarated by the idea of having to share their wife’s pussy with other men, while others are deeply hurt and humiliated by the experience. Some men get an instant rock-hard erection just thinking about their wife coming home with a wet creamy used pussy, while other men are nauseated by it.

Some men despise their wives for it, while others love her even more. Some men beg their wives to stop, while others actively encourage her to continue. Some husbands like to watch. Some women don’t want their husbands to be present.

Many bulls don’t mind the husband being in the room when they fuck his wife, while others don’t want him to be anywhere around. Some women love to dress up special for their bulls, in ways they never dress up for their husbands, while other women are more discreet about it. Some women enjoy the ritual of always go to their bulls, while other women prefer to entertain their lovers at home. Still other women love the naughty idea of meeting up with their bull in a cheap roadside motel for a long hot afternoon of fucking. Some women enjoy spending the night with their bulls, while other women and couples have rules against it.

Some men want their wives to be able to experience sexual delights and pleasures that they can’t possibly give her, while other men feel humiliated by the fact that they can’t compete against the stronger, more virile men their wife’s typically choose as lovers.

Some women are sexually submissive, some are more dominant. Some men are sexually dominant, some are more submissive. And some are in between. Still others, after experimentation and experience, discover sides to them that they never knew about, and want to explore deeper.

Men and women in these types of relationships live in all different parts of the world, come from various demographic groups, different ages, income levels, educations, cultural backgrounds, and races.

For women, the criteria for picking sexual partners can be vastly different than the standards they might apply in selecting a life partner or husband. In fact, it’s quite common for women to be sexually curious about and physically attracted to men who are radically different than their husbands in terms of physical appearance, background, community and economic status, and personality. It is, after all, about having fun, experimenting, trying something new, exploring, and fulfilling sexual fantasies.

As far as sex partners go, most women are attracted to strong, powerful, dominant, masculine, mentally and physically aggressive men with unbounded physical stamina. They also tend to prefer muscular athletic men with big cocks. This, in large part, explains the powerful sexual attraction that many white women have for black men. The conventional cliché that we all hear about, and that we see all over the internet, is white women in their 30s and 40s that like to have hot nasty sex with young well-hung black men. It’s a stereotype, to be sure, but one that’s also very, very common.

Women were never meant to be monogamous

I don’t remember where I found this, but I thought I would share!!!!  I like to share!!!  If you know the original source, please pass it along so credit can be given!

Despite thousands of years of cultural programming and conditioning, the truth is that women were never meant to be monogamous. I think we’re currently living through a period of enormous social change in this regard. More single and married women are realizing every day that experiencing as much sexual pleasure as they choose is their natural-born right.

For many, a marriage where the man places his wife’s sexual pleasure above his own, and supports and encourages her to explore her sexuality with other men, while he remains monogamous to her, or even chaste, is not an alternative lifestyle at all. It’s simply a recognition and celebration of the true natural order of things.

It also satisfies the cuckold husband’s deepest, most passionate desires. Paradoxically, the cuckold wife’s act of supplementing and even replacing her husband in the marital bed with better, more well-endowed lovers, and her demand that he live in a state of either temporary or permanent chastity, is precisely what sets him free to become what he knows he was born to be… a cuckold husband with an openly unfaithful wife that spreads her legs for other men.

It takes a great deal of trust for a cuckold husband to admit to his wife that his deepest darkest desire is to be cuckolded and sexually humiliated by her. This too is a paradox. Many outside the Hotwife Cuckold Lifestyle view this with absolute horror, but in the best cuckold marriages, the husband’s sexual humiliation at the hands of his wife is something that he has deeply and passionately longed for, often for a very long time.

When a woman grants a cuckold his deepest wish, and openly has sex with other men, she’s actually helping her cuckold husband to fulfill his sexual and marital destiny. Which is why the wife’s cuckolding of her husband can be simultaneously both an act of sexual humiliation and one of profound understanding and love. 

By agreeing to her husband’s deep-seated desire that she take on other lovers, and exploring her sexuality with them, she’s the one doing him the favor, not the other way around, and she should never let him forget that.

Creating an Enjoyable Cuckolding Experience

 Enjoying the Cuckolding ExperienceObviously, there are many different wives and couples who dine from this buffet of sexual preferences the world has to offer, so this post will not apply to everyone, but anyone may be able to take small pieces and use them. 

The dynamics in a cuckolding relationship can be intense, thrilling, and intimidating for everyone involved.  That range is what makes it so exciting, but it also is what makes it so scary.  We often times find it challenging to balance a relationship that has two people in it, so it is natural to cringe at the thought of adding a third (or fourth, or fifth, or sixth…) to the mix.  Or maybe we push back at the idea of getting close enough to the third person to think of them as being in the relationship or we keep the details of our affairs off limits to our husbands.  But that doesn’t need to be the case.

To make the cuckolding experience an enjoyable one for everyone involved and to keep the lifestyle fresh and going, everyone needs to get the maximum benefit from it.  That may seem obvious, but if it is not considered, you may be missing out on the full enjoyment of the lifestyle.

So you may be asking what the maximum benefit is for each person in this lifestyle.  Well, that’s a good question and the details will be different for each, but in general terms it means that the couple and the boyfriend(s) practice cuckolding together.  That is, you practice it as a threesome.  Now don’t freak out if the idea of being with two men at the same time is not your thing.  That is not exactly what I’m suggesting (but if you are open to it, MFM fun can be its own thrill 🙂 ).  But here, what I mean by threesome is three equal parts; hubby, wife, and boyfriend.

First, as the wife, if you are mainly hooking-up with various men at random times or places or if you have a regular boyfriend, but keep him away from your husband and your home, then you are missing out on some of the best experiences of the cuckolding lifestyle.  A steady boyfriend, or group of steady boyfriends, can be create much more rewarding experiences.  Don’t fear intimacy with your boyfriend, it is healthy, natural, and adds to the experience for everyone involved.

Sure it can be scary and intimidating for a couple to bring a steady relationship with another man into their lifestyle, but in reality, it is less risky physically.  If the concern is the emotional risk, then couples really shouldn’t even be thinking about this.  This is not polyamory we are talking about here, where the wife loves multiple partners.  Not to offend anyone, but I do not see how that relationship works.  In my experience, women cannot truly love more than one man.  This threesome setup I describe would be like adding a Friend with Benefit to the couple.  This FWB is available physically for the wife, but the emotional support comes from the husband.

Second, if you never involve your husband directly in your dates or sexual encounters, you are keeping him from experiencing some of the most intense feelings and parts of being your cuck.  Part of the sexual gratification your husband receives from being your cuck is mental and emotional.  The mental torture of the images that are burned into his mind from seeing with his own eyes the lust in your enjoyment of your boyfriend.  The emotional knots in his stomach watching his wife willingly submit to her boyfriend and enjoy her lover’s body like she once enjoyed her husband’s.  The anxiety and worry from seeing how much his wife can enjoy sex without him and what it means for him.  As strange as it sounds, this ‘anguish’ is a HUGE aphrodisiac for a cuck.  He has found a way of turning what would otherwise be debilitating jealously in others into an amazing and addictive stimulant.  It works much the same when you are away from him for the night and return with tales of your encounters, but the intensity increases hundred times over when he sees it with his own eyes.

And you may find that you enjoy the thrill of him watching more than you ever thought.  The thrills of seeing his erection grow with each act.  His lust growing to a point where his body aches for touch, any touch, and it forces him to masturbate looking for any release as he watches you squirm in ecstasy with your boyfriend.

But what if you or your boyfriend is not comfortable with your husband being around?  Well, go slow.  

He will need to be convinced that your husband is fine with the arrangement, that your husband won’t go postal on him when he watches you with your boyfriend, and that there are no ulterior motives at play here (i.e. no bi-sexual switches in the heat of passion).  Your boyfriend needs to be shown the submissive role your husband has taken in your new relationship.  Here are some ways you can start it off and slowly warm him up to the idea:

1)      Have your boyfriend pick you up at your house while your husband is there.  Introduce the two of them and be sure to use their ‘titles’ of husband and boyfriend (or you could call him your date if you need to go extra slow).  Give your boyfriend a passionate kiss with your husband watching and cuddle up close to him.  Your boyfriend will see your husband simply stand there and watch you two.  Before you leave, give your husband a goodbye kiss, but just a quick peck, make sure there is a big distinction between the two kisses to reinforce your husband’s role.  As you walk to the car, tell your boyfriend how hot and sexy it was to kiss him like that in front of your husband.  He may not get the message immediately, but you should show him enough to know that kissing him in front of your husband gets you hot and wet.

2)      During the dates, if the discussion ever turns to you being married or mentions your husband at all, don’t shy away from it.  Don’t be afraid to discuss your husband and his reactions to your dating.  Even share any details about how excited your husband gets the closer it comes to your date night and how he helps you get ready (picking out clothes, helping you choose sexy lingerie…).  Share the fantasies you and your husband have discussed and how you two have gotten to this point in your relationship.  Don’t use him like a therapist, but the more you can stimulate his mind with information, the more his imagination will be intrigued by it.

3)      Before your next date, have your husband make contact with your boyfriend to get his input about what he would like for you to wear.  It doesn’t need to be very specific and it could be as simple as asking what type of lingerie or panties does your boyfriend want you to wear.

4)      Have the dinner portion of the date at your house.  Your husband can be involved as much as you want and it even helps show his submissive role when you give him little tasks to do.  They don’t have to be big or humiliating tasks, they could be simple ones like greeting your boyfriend at the door, fixing the drinks for everyone, cleaning up the table.  After dinner, have some fun ‘social’ time together with you next to your boyfriend flirting, teasing, and even doing some foreplay fun with him with your husband watching.  Before you go out for the night, give your husband some task to do.  Again, it doesn’t need to be humiliating or overly dominant, but something as simple as saying “I hope that kitchen is clean when I get back home.”  It could be given with a light-hearted tone or laugh.

5)      Call your husband during your date and give him a teasing description of what is going on or what is about to happen.  Be sure your boyfriend is listening.  Before the call you could even ask your boyfriend for suggestions about what to tell your husband or deliberately create a situation to tell your husband about (i.e. your hand is rubbing your boyfriend’s dick under the table, or your boyfriend has his hand under your skirt while you are sitting at a bar).  To push the limits, you can call your husband from your boyfriend’s place, leaving the phone open for your husband to hear the sounds of sexual arousal and then hang-up just when things are getting hot and heavy.

Eventually this will all lead to some heavy petting and kissing at your home, then on to some fun in the bedroom and you may never leave the house.  Don’t get me wrong, we women love to be wined and dined, but sometimes we just want to be fucked.  During the first few of these make out sessions, your husband can watch and you can emphasize his submissive role by having him tied to a chair, watch the two of you while he is naked, or have him be your butler and undress you for your boyfriend.  When you retreat to the bedroom boldly state that your husband is to stay out of the bedroom unless you two call for him.

All of this may seem like such a challenge to most women and not worth the trouble.  But think of it as a game and once you win this game, it will become second nature to you and your boyfriend.  He will begin to take the initiative (and be very encouraging of him when he does as any negative criticism will likely make him regress) and you will be surprise just how playful he can be in your home or around your husband.  Your make out sessions on the couch will go further faster and you’ll find that your boyfriend is even embracing the relationship and coming up with things for your husband to do to help you two out in your passion play.

You’ll also find that your husband is having harder orgasms when you do let him cum.  All of this teasing and torment will cause a buildup in him like he has never felt.  And the more buildup there is, the more submissive he becomes.

Good Luck To All!!!!  Enjoy making this cuckold experience and enjoyable one for all!

The Intellectual Sex Fetish

originally posted here :  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/07/29/cuckolding-the-sex-fetish-for-intellectuals.html?fb_ref=article&fb_source=home_oneline 

 

The Intellectual Sex Fetish

It’s S&M for Ph.D.s: Cuckolding, in which men watch their wives have sex with other guys, is catching on among people with high IQs who revel in the psychological agony.

<:time property=”dc:created” datetime=”2010-07-29T22:44:28.000Z” pubdate=”pubdate”>Jul 29, 2010 6:44 PM EDT

When he hears his wife moan with pleasure while she has sex with another man, Paul Pines feels bad—then good. When Paul’s wife tells him that the other man is much better at sex than he ever was, Paul feels worse—then better. But of course he does: He arranged this encounter, in which he watches in agony as his wife makes love to another guy. And almost as soon as it’s over, he’ll start planning the next one.

Cuckoldry is defined as a wife’s infidelity. Chaucer and Shakespeare characterized it as the ultimate shame. So perhaps it’s no surprise that today it’s developed into a fairly popular fetish. The Internet is rife with husbands enthusiastically soliciting other men—often larger, hotter, sexier men than themselves—to have sex with their wives while they watch.

“The high point of cuckolding is when your wife says she wants the other guy all the time and never wants you.”

This isn’t like swinging, and it’s not a threesome. Cuckolded men (aka “cucks”) only observe their wives’ infidelities, they don’t participate. And that’s why they find it a turn-on: They’re left out, looking on as the woman they love climaxes with a better man than them. It’s a form of psychological sadomasochism. Some people get turned on by whips, chains, and physical pain. Cucks get aroused by mental anguish.

Cuckolding is rapidly emerging as the alt-sex fetish of choice for American intellectuals. Just check out the online forums like OurHotWives.org/forum, where letter-perfect postings celebrate cuckoldry as a cerebral pursuit, transcending ordinary voyeurism and S&M as a dangerous game involving jealousy, misery, gratitude, shame, sharing, sublimation, lust, and trust.

Once a month, Drs. Paul and Sally Pines, a pair of New York City-area Ph.D.s who have been married 25 years, check into a hotel suite with another man. As Paul looks on, Sally and the man snuggle up together on the couch like lovebirds. Soon their clothes are off, and before long, she’s wailing in ecstasy as the man has aggressive, passionate sex with her. Paul, helpless, can only watch and suffer. Afterward, Paul serves lunch to his wife and the man in the suite’s dining area; they eat in the nude before launching into another long, loud, sweaty session.

For Paul, this sort of suffering feels like heaven.

“Imagine looking at the guy who’s about to go to bed with your wife. Imagine hearing the man crying out in bed with your wife,” says Paul, who pleasures himself “like a madman” during these encounters. “The high point of cuckolding is when your wife says she wants the other guy all the time and never wants you. Sally’s body makes it very clear that this is true. It hurts me worse to know this, so it’s better to know.” Worst/best of all is watching Sally bond with the other man not only physically but emotionally—when, as Paul puts it, she’s “masturbating him with her mind.”

This emotional bond that women form with the third party is a topic of excited discussion on cuckolding forums. One member of OurHotWives.org/forum admits being “more afraid of Susan going for a walk to the ice-cream store with a lover then [ sic] her having three different men in a week.”

“If he just fucks her and goes home, that’s one thing,” Paul says. “But if they fuck for an hour, then have an intellectual relationship where they sit and talk for two hours afterward, it hurts a lot more.”

In this respect, cuckolding attracts “the very highly educated,” Paul says, adding that it’s “truly intellectual in its enterprise because it replaces sexual touch with humiliation and emotional pain, both of which are psychological. Most of what gives me physical pleasure has to go on in my brain. I’m totally being classist, but this isn’t like people in redneck bars asking each other, ‘You wanna fuck my wife?’ It’s much more complex. It’s pleasure on a different level.”

When, after years of pleading, he finally convinced Sally, whom he describes as “dignified and proper,” to cuckold him, Paul posted a notice at AdultFriendFinder.com that began: “Seeking an intelligent man to be my wife’s lover.” He picked the four smartest candidates. That was 12  years ago. Watching Sally having sex with another man, “I realize how bad I am at it. And this is really hard for me to say”—at this point, his voice cracks—”but I get off on it.”

Although he doesn’t know precisely why he’s wired this way—”I’ve told all my therapists I’m happy to talk with them about this as long as they promise they won’t try to cure me”—Paul remembers walking in on his parents once when he was too young to realize what they were doing in bed.

“They said, ‘Get out!’ And I knew it was something very exciting, and that when it’s going on, Paul belongs outside—that my place should always be outside of it, which is a really cool place to be.”

For other cuckolds, pain isn’t the point. Some are closeted husbands who want to see naked men, whether they admit it or not. Others like the idea of their wives attracting other guys.

“Competition gets them hard,” says sex therapist Susan Block, who operates a phone-therapy program especially for cuckolds to fine-tune their fantasies and strategies. “There are so many forms of substitute competition among men in our society, such as sports, that take the place of the real competition inside a woman’s body,” in which rival males’ sperm engage in “wars” to fertilize her eggs.

“Winning isn’t even that important. What’s important for a man in terms of his arousal is the competition. If you’re a married man, you might love your wife, but you won’t get as strong an erection for her or have as strong an ejaculation if your testicles know that this woman is yours alone. Nature is conservative, so your testicles won’t work any harder than they know they have to. But if your wife has been away at a conference and there’s a chance that she’s had sex with another man, you’ll get a stronger erection when she comes home. If she has had sex with another man, that makes you really hard.”

Turning this dynamic into reality through cuckolding is a mental workout “because it involves getting your mind past the jealousy”—past that touch her and I’ll blow your head off reflex. Jealousy, Block theorizes, is a social construct based on the notion that husbands own their wives, and is thus “much more recent, evolutionarily speaking, than the competition that turns guys on. That’s why it’s mostly intellectuals who are into cuckolding: because other guys are crippled by jealousy. They’re aroused and upset and don’t know why.”

Think your way around that, and “this is a simple and safe way to find a lover,” ventures the San Francisco-based Webmaster who calls himself DotInfo and operates Cuckold-Forum.net. “Not only does a woman want it, but also her husband wants to share his wife. And they don’t have to hide it from each other. It makes their relationships more clear and open.”

But there’s also a somewhat uncomfortable racial angle to cuckolding. Cruise the galleries at cuckolding Web sites and you’ll see the same dynamic again and again: white husband, white wife, African-American other man. In cuck slang, these black men are dubbed “mandingos” or “bulls.” Some sites, such as InterracialCuck.com, CuckoldHoes.com, and BigBlackBull.com, cater solely to this.

“It harks back to the notion of the forbidden,” says Paul, who doesn’t pursue this fetish-within-a-fetish himself, “and to that monstrous old stereotype in which all black men have two-foot cocks.”

For Paul, it’s enough that the guy makes him feel pathetic, but he warns that the emotional scarring isn’t for everyone.

“You’re playing with fire” he says. “Don’t do this unless you understand that you can’t take it back. Even if you never do it again, your wife will have always had that great time, and you’ll both know.”

Anneli Rufus is the author of many books, including Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto, and the Nautilus Award-winning Stuck: Why We Don’t (or Won’t) Move On , and the coauthor of still more, including Weird Europe and The Scavengers’ Manifesto.  In 2006, she won a Society of Professional Journalists award for criticism.

A note to our loving, yet perverted, husbands

Everyone knows you love her.  You married her.   You picked her from the world wide women’s web and decided to make her your special, one-of-a-kind woman.  You’ve spent years loving her and doing everything she wants, trying to make her happy.  Now her loving, and perverted, husband has one more idea in his head.  It is something you think she will enjoy and so you’ve turned it into your fantasy so you can find some way in your mind to enjoy it too.  Just remember, it’s not a small thing you are asking your wife to do.  You have to understand that there may be a long road ahead, and you need to understand that once its out there and done, you can’t take it back.  You have opened her mind and her imagination to a world of possibilities and you can’t bring that back.  Of course I will assume you don’t want to do that, so I will give you a suggestion or two on how you should deal with the journey.

One of the worries women have when their husbands want them to fuck another man is that the marriage will be damaged and that damage will cause her to lose her security or her safety net. Obviously, it is a big departure from the traditional marriage situation, so you need to convince her that the marriage will not be damaged.  To the contrary, it will be enhanced, even strengthened, and that you will love her even more.

You have to explain to her that she will be able to explore more of her own sexuality.  She is free to fuck.  If she gets comfortable fucking another man, then she will be more sexual with you, however you define it; sex, teasing, denial, chastity, dominant; because any walls she had built up about what a woman should be sexuality, those will be broken down and disappear. That does mean that she might just as well not want to fuck you any longer – or under peculiar conditions only (for instance, only after her bull has fucked her) – that’s the risk .

Maybe it is the idea of being called a slut she doesn’t like, or maybe she doesn’t like the term hot wife.  Remind here it is something most men and husbands want to see in their women, and most other women will envy in her once your wife has obtained the self-confidence to openly expose herself as such.

Another reason women think their husbands want them to sleep with other men is so the husbands can sleep with other women.  Be honest with her.  If that is in your mind, even in the deepest darkest corner, tell her.  It may not be the big red stop sign you think it is.  You need to paint the picture of how you see it.  Don’t leave out any colors or neither of you will find this as thrilling and exciting as you think it is going into it.

And you better be cool with the situation yourself.  Don’t think just because you get an amazing hardon everytime you think about that you are ready for it.  Because if you ever get to see another man’s dick going into your wife and see her respond to it, she will definitely be a different woman.

 Last point I want to make here, don’t push her.  Take your time and proceed at her pace.  Talk about it, many, many, many, many times.  If it upsets her, back off.   Don’t try to force her along the path you want her to go.  It must be her choice to do it. If she does not say YES right away, then you need to work on discovering what it is she wants to do.  You can have your input, but don’t force your fantasies onto her.

Turning her into a cuckoldress may sometimes be a long, but definitely a rewarding route.

A Little Role Reversal – just sorta :)

This weekend we were finishing tiding up the house after the kids had gone to bed.  My husband took the dishes and laundry and I picked up room by room and put all the stuff strung though the house back in place.  I walked into the washroom and quietly came up behind my husband.  In one quick move, I pulled his shorts down.  He started to say something, but I pulled his shirt over his head.  He raised his arms and I pulled it off his body.  Quickly, I bent down and held his shorts as he stepped out of them.  Naked, he turned around and his hardening member was in my face.  I smiled as stood and gave his package a love pat.

I left with his clothes and made a comment about him not needing them for the rest of the night.  I also told him to hurry with his chores so we could have more fun time later.  That was the encouragement he needed.  He scurried around finishing his tasks and even the few extra I asked him about.  I was enjoying sitting at the table surfing the internet watching him bounce around the house, with his dick swaying in the air.  Sometimes it was hard, sometimes not.  I enjoyed teasing him as he worked too, asking him to stop so I could get a good look at him, or striking a sexy pose for me.  It was funny and stimulating at the same time.  Something about me loves that power of control and uses it as an aphrodisiac.

My husband was intensly working in the kitchen when my cell phone buzzed.  It was my boytoy telling me he was outside and ready.  Without my husband knowing, I let my boytoy, I’ll call him Mike, inside and led him to the table where I was seated.  I fixed him a glass of wine and we chatted quietly while I waited for my husband to be done.  Earlier, I had texted Mike my first thoughts on the night and it was enough to get him interested.  At the table I went over the details of what I had in mind for the night with Mike and he agreed to it, I love it when men do that!!

We talked some more before my husband walked in the room. 

He was shocked 🙂  I could tell he was excited as he left the kitchen, but when he saw Mike at the table, his ‘ego’ deflated.

“Oh honey, you remember Mike,” I said not wanting my husband to lose his excitement and to get the night going.  He had met Mike several times so he was not a new face, but seeing him here tonight threw my husband off.  I reassured my husband that I wanted to play tonight and wanted him involved, but I was also aching for Mike.  I told my husband if he still was up for it, then I will see him in the bedroom, but if not, then I understand and Mike and I will make the most of the evening together.

Without a word, my husband walked down the hall and into the bedroom.  I smiled as I watched his naked ass bounce out of sight.  I patted Mike on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow me.  Playfully striped out of my clothes as I walked, tossing each piece at Mike.  My husband was lying on the bed when I entered the room.  I joined him and gave him an oral workover (a GREAT oral workover if I do say so) and then lay on the bed next to him. 

I told him tonight would be a bit of a role reversal for us because I wanted him to go first and for Mike to watch us.  My husband took advantage and began to work my body over; first with his hands, then with his mouth.  Mike was sitting in the chair in the corner watching us and rubbing his groin through his pants.  I told him to get naked and show me how he liked watching.  He obeyed and I got to watch him stroke his gorgeous cock as my husband worked on me.

I guess I’m a fortunate cuckoldress in that my husband can pleasure me sexually.  So haiving sexual relations with my husband is something I can enjoy and not just endure like many cuckoldresses (or even wives in general).  He just can’t keep up.  I can enjoy his dick and he is great with his hands and tongue, but I love sex and he can’t do it everytime I want it.  I love the thrill of feeling something and someone new.  Besides, one look at Mike’s cock is enough of a reminder why I do this.  My husband is good and his dick can satisfy my, but I can embrace, yearn, and dream about Mike’s penis.  It is enough to get me through the dull parts of the day and week.  And Mike isn’t the only one….but anywho, back to the story.

My husband crawled between my legs and started to push his dick inside me.  I reached down, grabbed his shaft, and held him in place.  I was not ready for him to stick his dick all the way in and I wanted him to know that I was still in charge.  I stroked him as I rubbed the head of his shaft around my wet lips, I loved hearing him moan for more.  Once I had him ready, I told him the  condition on him participating.  I told him he gets to have the pleasure of giving me my first orgasm of the night, but he has to do it without cumming.  Once I have my orgasm, he is to switch places with Mike, but if he cums before I do, then he will be sorry.

He agreed.  He was so hard, so horny, and so ready to go I thought he was going to be finished before he got started.  He was a good boy and lived up to his end of the deal, but he did stop some to keep from cumming.  He ravaged my body like he has not done in a long time and I was in heaven.  I enjoyed what he did to me and enjoyed Mike watching it all.  In the end, I had to take matters in my own hand (or I should say I took his dick in my own hand:) ) to reach my orgasm, but it was a good way to start the night.

Relunctantly, my husband left the bed and Mike climbed on board.  Now, I’m a sensative gal after an orgasm, so most times I don’t like too much action immediately after one.  No problem for Mike.  He had been watching enough that he wanted some attention of his own.  I practically poinced him before he could lay down.  I kissed every inch of his body until I found my way to his dick.  But, I didn’t have to search too hard for it. I was a hungry, wanton woman, even after my orgasm, and his beautiful penis was the meat my mouth was watering for.

After Mike joined me on the bed, the night was just like any other night.  My husband took his place as my cuck and Mike was my bull.   So our little role reversal was over and things were back to how they should be.  I won’t bore you with the rest of the details for the night.  It certainly wasn’t boring to any of us there, but there are only so many times and ways you readers and read about sex.  It was hot, imaginative, and memorable.  It produced feelings and tingles that make it so addictive that you just have to have more. 

What a weekend!!!!  His begging is my drug!!
 

Everyone did get their orgasms that night, and I got three :).  It was a time that I think we all want to repeat!

MFM Guide – Part 3

Here is the final installment of this GREAT guide for both men and women, the couple and the extra, here.   This is not my original work.  I found it athttp://shareheradvice.tripod.com/myfaithandbeliefsite/index.html

Enjoy and pass along.  It is good to share!!!

I found it to be a wonderful read and even though we lean more towards a cuckold relationship, this is still a help to anyone considering this or wanting more information

 
Part 3
 
Setting Up Your First Meeting
 
This meeting is necessary to see of there is chemistry and to verify that he looks attractive to her in person.  Pictures can be deceiving.  Some couples skip this step or go straight from this meeting to a motel but I think that’s asking too much of a woman.  She needs to warm to him and this meeting is an icebreaker that helps her with this process.  Take your time. Send him email and arrange to meet him in a public place where you can talk.  Tell him this will only last an hour and you have an engagement later (you can always decide to break the engagement if you want to chat longer).  Explain up front that this meeting will not include sex.  I would suggest a place that serves alcohol and has some privacy (e.g. background music or a sparsely occupied seating area).  Get there early and have a drink if you’re nervous.   Have him set where there is plenty of eye contact between her and the prospective new partner.  Let nature take it is course.  If there’s chemistry great.  If there’s not, don’t be discouraged and plan to start over. If the meeting is going well, there should be flirtation and some level of sexual tension in the air.  If it looks promising, it is a good idea to let the woman and her perspective partner have a few minutes alone to talk.  Make an excuse to get drinks, go to the bathroom, etc.  Later, the couple should ask for a few minutes alone to chat before extending a future invitation for more that just conversation.  If you’re both in agreement that this guy will be right for you, then it is time to make future arrangements and set some ground rules. I would suggest you arrange for a hotel meeting several days later.  This gives you both time to back out if you desire.  Tell him you will send e-mail if there is a problem with this arranged date at least a day in advance of your next meeting.  It is appropriate that you ask the man to pay for a room or at least share the cost (If I were the lucky guy, I would volunteer to arrange for the room) at a nice hotel.  I would suggest a time not too late in the day as you may want to start the evening with a meal, dinner, dancing or whatever will help make this a night she will never forget. Most ground rules should have been previously discussed via e-mail earlier including the topic of aids testing. 
 
Make Sure She Is Ready To Proceed

Communication at this point between you and your partner is essential.  She may have second thoughts after the first meeting for one reason or another.  If so, just cancel the invitation. 

If you’re still ready to proceed, I suggest you stop having sex at least a few days before the first meeting.  Why?  It is one thing to talk about having sex with a stranger and entirely another to actually go through with it.  Yes, this will be very difficult, because sex will be on your minds every minute until the next meeting.  🙂  Being very aroused beforehand will almost certainly make it easier for her.  The sex will be hotter and the orgasm’s more plentiful, believe me.  If you can’t hold out a week, at least try for a couple of days and don’t have sex just prior to the encounter.

Choosing A Location


I suggest a nice hotel with a lounge that you are comfortable with.  If you live in a small town, you should plan on driving to a nearby city to remain discrete.  Don’t choose a sleazy motel, the lighting is poor and the place is not usually clean or very large.   Plan to meet him in the lounge and start with small talk.

Deciding What You Want


If you have not discussed the details beforehand, now that this is almost a reality, this is the time to determine what you really want and don’t want. 

Will this be a threesome or will the husband/boyfriend just watch?  Will the both of you start out and have him join in?  Is French kissing appropriate?  Do the men alternate time with the woman?  Will you take pictures or video the events?  Can she have unprotected sex with both of you?  (not recommended).  Will she go to the room with her new partner and be joined by her husband/boyfriend later?  (not recommended the first time).  How long will the sex last?  Is anal sex allowed?  How about double penetration?   It is not important what you decide,  just that you have a discussion about it. 

 The Big DAY

Preparations

On the day of the event, you may want to get some wine, beer or favorite drink.  A stereo with CD’s with selections that gets everyone in the mood is recommended and can mask noise heard though walls and doors in a hotel.  😉  Don’t forget some water based lubricant and extra condoms.  If she’s planning on an evening with two men, it may be non stop marathon sex and staying lubricated for several hours is not easy.   A camera or a video cam is a great idea if you want to capture the event.  This way you can both relive the memories. 
 
Importance Of Making Her New partner Comfortable

I think this is often overlooked and is the cause for some problems with first time three-ways in particular.  Most men have never had sex with another man present.  This makes them feel uneasy.  It can cause temporary impotence.  Also, if you’ve laid down half a dozen pre-sex ground rules – “don’t do this and don’t do that”,  he may be spooked.  So what can you do?

First time sex in a three-way is usually awkward at first.  This can me minimized if you take things slowly and get to know one another with e-mail.  Get comfortable as a threesome before removing your cloths with conversation.  Chat over a beer.  Flirt with email.  Slow dance.  Tease one another.  This will pay off in the end.

The relationship between the two men will probably be the most awkward.  The husband/boyfriend should find a way to indicate with his woman’s new partner when it is OK to proceed and when it is not.  Having a friendly one-on-one conversation is recommended.  Email communications work well for this.

How Do We Begin?


You may want to start with light conversation and a cocktail in the hotel lobby.  On a queue from her, you can all venture to the hotel room.  Both men could start by giving her a body massage fully clothed.  A foot massage is a great place to start and is an excellent icebreaker.  Gradually, the husband/boyfriend can remove articles of clothing.  Then let nature take its course.  I don’t believe you can proceed too slowly, but it’s easy for miscommunication and awkward moments if you move too fast.  As a rule, I think it is best when the woman sets the pace.

Tips For The Husband/Boyfriend


It is completely up to the couple what the husband/boyfriend does.  He can either join in, take turns or passively watch and snap a few pictures.   And here’s a tip:  if you decide to photograph, use a flash as hotel lighting does not make for good photos.  🙂

Assuming you develop a relationship over time with her new partner and you both trust him, I would suggest the husband/boyfriend leave the room for 20 minutes.  She and her new sex partner may be reluctant to show their wild side for different reasons.  He may feel uncomfortable with the other man in the room.  She may feel guilty exhibiting too much pleasure.  While alone, they may reach a new level of passion.  When you return, they may be more willing to continue in this manner.

Another twist it to stop after a period of time and ask the new lover to leave for a period of say an hour.  Then have him phone the room and come back later.  It gives you both some time to talk and be passionate in private.  When he returns, she can resume with him where she left off knowing her husband/boyfriend is both excited and supportive.

How Does It End?


Long before your first meeting, indicate in your email that if either of you wants it to end, it must end immediately, no questions asked.  He should agree completely.

When you make final hotel arrangements with the new partner, tell him it will end within 2 hours of the time you get to the room.  You can always change your mind and continue for as long as you’re both comfortable with it.

The couple should have a non-verbal queue, that they can use in the hotel room indicating they want a time out or the whole thing to end.

Afterward

 

Keeping Emotions In Check

As much your wife/girlfriend will try to avoid it, she may bond to her sexual partners at some emotional level.  She’s human and is naturally drawn to any man she has sex with to a limited degree.  There are several ways to minimize this bond and the anxiety it may cause.  These methods revolve around the amount of time spent together, the frequency of the sexual encounters, the physical presence of her husband/boyfriend during sex outside the relationship, open communication and the maintenance of your relationship.

Keep the sexual encounter to just that.  A few hours of sexual activity is enough.  For most couples, once or twice a year of this activity is plenty.  You don’t want a steady diet of sex outside of the relationship.  If you want a repeat performance, take pictures or video the event and re-live the experience at home.

Make it a threesome.   The presence of a husband/boyfriend will help her keep emotions in check.  Realize it will feel awkward for her and her new lover.  It will take an adjustment period where the three of you get used to each other in the bedroom, but it is nothing you can’t work through.  If you take it slow, this is not difficult.  Have a drink, start with a massage.  Move to heavy petting and let things happen naturally.  😉 It is best not to “go on a date” alone – especially at first.  It also reduces the anxiety for the husband/boyfriend.  I let my girlfriend “date” and stayed home wondering what was happening.  On one level, this is exciting, but on another it makes for very anxious moments and mixed feelings.  If she arrives home an hour late, it will feel like minutes for her and days for him.  When she comes home, the man is more than ready to have sex but she will have had time to cool off.  She and may not want sex at all.  Talk about disappointment.  😦   The sex immediately after (seconds later) she’s been with her lover is the very best of all.  Don’t miss out by staying home.

This is not the place for romance.  If an evening out for her is agreed upon, it should NOT include a dinner, dancing, lot’s of discussion and subsequent sex.  This is “dating” mode.  It is the way in which we court a member of the opposite sex and establish a potential lifelong partnership – but inappropriate for a shared wive/girlfriend.  If a date is arranged, it should be short (i.e. for a drink, then upstairs to the hotel room).  At a predetermined time, the husband/boyfriend should knock on the door. This can be a few minutes after her lover departs or he can still be there.  The couple can decide.  Another way to arrange this is to have all three of you there in the hotel room when you begin, then the husband/boyfriend can leave for a while (e.g. 30-45 minutes) and return.  Again, this is not suggested the first time. There should not be any discrete communications between the woman and her new sex partner.  No daily e-mail banter, phone calls, mail, flowers or personal visits.  It is my suggestion that the man maintains the dialog with the new partner in e-mail format only and he should not be allow to talk your wife/girlfriend directly.  This is not meant to control your spouse/girlfriend, it is to keep this new partners desire for more of a relationship firmly in check.  His communication will be less romantic if he knows the boyfriend/husband is reading the mail.  As stated earlier, I have a rule: 

When I contact you, you can respond with mail.  If you don’t hear from me, then we don’t want to hear from you.  If you break this rule, it is over.

Talk about the emotions she feels afterward.  It is OK if she likes him, but if she feels something more, you both should be careful about future meetings.  Feelings of guilt sometimes set in at first, but with reassurance from the husband/boyfriend, this will pass.  Have a heart-to-heart talk about how both of you feel several days later.  It is a new experience for both of you and the relationship you already have is always the first priority.

Keep the romance alive within your own relationship.  Don’t make the grass look greener somewhere else.  Treat her like a princess at the center of your world.

Good luck in your adventures and let me know if the guide was a help!